Sharpened stick: Difference between revisions

}}{{quote|During the snow melt in 1941, Lance-Corporal Pinterman’s mother Gladys was swept away in an avalanche. Group Captain Cocklecarrot summoned Sergeant Baxter-Morley into his office.

“SAH!” Baxter-Morley snapped off a salute and exited the office, abrim with purpose.

At reveille next morning, the drill-sergeant ran through his usual order of the day. “Johnston and Hodgkinson, report for guard duty. Fotherington-Thomas, you are on latrines. Pinterman, your mother is dead: have the morning off. The rest of you, report to Lieutenant Branton on the assault course. All right, men: fall out.”

Pinterman — a sensitive soul at the best of times — was devastated. But worse was to come: not a month later, his father also died, taken by a bear. Group-Captain Cocklecarrot once again called in the drill-sergeant in. “I say, Baxter-Morley, Pinterman’s father popped his clogs. I need to let him know.”

“I see, sah.” The drill sergeant span on his heels but his commanding officer interrupted him.

“Now, look here, Sergeant: the poor chap didn’t get out of his bed for two weeks last time. How about being a little more tactful this time?”

“SAH!” The sergeant clicked heels and exited, calling the unit to assemble at once.

“All right men, fall in. Now we are conducting a parenthood survey. Every one of you whose father is still alive, take three steps forward. PINTERMAN WHAT THE DEVIL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”}}There are ''ways'' of saying things.