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{{g}}This is the man that shoots the hares; <br> | {{a|g|[[File:Scissorman.png|thumb|center|450px|Well, I ''warned'' you]][[File:StruwwelRabbit.jpg|thumb|450px|center¬cretinous hunter, it must be said.]]}}This is the man that shoots the hares; <br> | ||
This is the coat he always wears: <br> | This is the coat he always wears: <br> | ||
With game-bag, powder-horn, and gun <br> | With game-bag, powder-horn, and gun <br> | ||
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::::—[[Struwwelpeter]] | ::::—[[Struwwelpeter]] | ||
“MERRY STORIES AND FUNNY PICTURES”, claims the frontispiece of Heinrich Hoffman’s magnum opus [[Struwwelpeter]] (“[[Shock-headed Peter]]” to his English friends), though unholy infant terror is a better description of what lies between these covers. Depraved, violent, sometimes fatal retribution for those who offend against the Hoffman’s merry code — transgressions including such mortal sins as fidgeting, failing to eat soup, sucking thumbs, playing with matches, being careless with umbrellas and walking along vacantly — along with more recognisably modern ailments like animal cruelty and racism. So: | |||
*'''Animal cruelty''': A dog bite, some unpleasant medicine and redistribution of Frederick’s pudding to victim dog. | *'''Animal cruelty''': A dog bite, some unpleasant medicine and redistribution of Frederick’s pudding to victim dog. | ||
*'''Playing with matches''': Death (human combustion). | *'''Playing with matches''': Death (human combustion). | ||
*'''Casual racism''': Being compulsorily dyed black by a bearded giant. | *'''Casual racism''': Being compulsorily dyed black by a bearded giant. | ||
*'''Hunting''': Your quarry turns the tables and you find yourself, your spouse and her coffee cup being shot at by a bespectacled rabbit. (Rabbit's own child suffers collateral damage being scalded by falling coffee). In fairness fairly credulous hunter allowing himself to be overpowered and outfoxed by a rabbit. No-one emerges out of this tale with much credit. | *'''Hunting''': Your quarry turns the tables and you find yourself, your spouse and her coffee cup being shot at by a bespectacled rabbit. (Rabbit's own child suffers collateral damage being scalded by falling coffee). In fairness fairly credulous hunter allowing himself to be overpowered and outfoxed by a rabbit. No-one emerges out of this tale with much credit. | ||
*'''Thumb sucking''': Forcible amputation of thumbs by large man in red trousers with giant shears. | *'''Thumb sucking''': Forcible amputation of thumbs by large man in red trousers with giant shears. | ||
Revision as of 18:30, 15 October 2020
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This is the man that shoots the hares;
This is the coat he always wears:
With game-bag, powder-horn, and gun
He’s going out to have some fun.
“MERRY STORIES AND FUNNY PICTURES”, claims the frontispiece of Heinrich Hoffman’s magnum opus Struwwelpeter (“Shock-headed Peter” to his English friends), though unholy infant terror is a better description of what lies between these covers. Depraved, violent, sometimes fatal retribution for those who offend against the Hoffman’s merry code — transgressions including such mortal sins as fidgeting, failing to eat soup, sucking thumbs, playing with matches, being careless with umbrellas and walking along vacantly — along with more recognisably modern ailments like animal cruelty and racism. So:
- Animal cruelty: A dog bite, some unpleasant medicine and redistribution of Frederick’s pudding to victim dog.
- Playing with matches: Death (human combustion).
- Casual racism: Being compulsorily dyed black by a bearded giant.
- Hunting: Your quarry turns the tables and you find yourself, your spouse and her coffee cup being shot at by a bespectacled rabbit. (Rabbit's own child suffers collateral damage being scalded by falling coffee). In fairness fairly credulous hunter allowing himself to be overpowered and outfoxed by a rabbit. No-one emerges out of this tale with much credit.
- Thumb sucking: Forcible amputation of thumbs by large man in red trousers with giant shears.
- Not eating soup: Death (starvartion)
- Fidgeting: Having the dining room table collapse on you and incurring wrath of your parents.
- Walking vacantly: Near-drowning. Loss of schoolbook. Mirth of fish.
- Playing with umbrella in a storm: Death (cause of death not articulated; body never recovered).
Never did me any harm, though.
Being nowadays in the public domain, you can enjoy Struwwelpeter in any format you like at Project Gutenberg.