Template:South African CLN: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
Line 10: Line 10:
In any case this chap sent in his mark-up of the, er, [[sw-æp]], and he had rather gone to town on it, in a manner indicating only a passing acquaintance with the derivatives market, but great expertise in the complications that arise when one transports goods by sea.  
In any case this chap sent in his mark-up of the, er, [[sw-æp]], and he had rather gone to town on it, in a manner indicating only a passing acquaintance with the derivatives market, but great expertise in the complications that arise when one transports goods by sea.  


My supervising partner in those days was an excitable fellow<ref>''Highly'' excitable. To keep a lid on his blood pressure, he retired shortly thereafter and now runs a newsagent in Gillingham.</ref>. I confess it was with a guilty glee that I trotted around and dropped the comments — they were compendious as they were ill-informed — on his desk, the way an obstreperous child might drop a match into a canister of petrol. It had the anticipated effect. Whilst the young [[JC]] was patiently explaining this setback to our client, represented by a callow but quick young fellow from Dublin in his first year out from Trinity College.
My supervising partner in those days was an excitable fellow<ref>''Highly'' excitable. To keep a lid on his blood pressure, he retired shortly thereafter and now runs a newsagent in Gillingham.</ref>. I confess it was with prurient glee that I trotted around and dropped the comments — which were as compendious as they were ill-informed — on his desk, the way an obstreperous child might drop a lighten match into a canister of petrol.  


“I have never been so outraged”, said my supervisor, his face a deep puce. “I have covered his draft with unprintable words! Obscenities! Words starting with “c” and “p” ...!”
It had the anticipated effect. Whilst the young [[JC]] was patiently explaining this unexpected setback to our client, represented by a callow but quick young fellow from Dublin, in his first year out from Trinity College, my supervisor stormed into the room, his face a rich shade of puce.
 
“I have never been so outraged”, said he. “I have covered his draft with unspeakable obscenities! Filthy! words that start with “c” and “p”!”


There was the most exquisite pause before the young Irishman on the speakerphone interjected:  
There was the most exquisite pause before the young Irishman on the speakerphone interjected:  


“[[Conditions precedent]]?”
“[[Conditions precedent]]?”

Revision as of 17:27, 4 April 2018

The South African credit-linked note and the misunderstood sw-æp

It was decades ago, a mild Friday evening in the infancy of the credit derivatives market. It was all to do with a secured note, credit-linked to the republic of South Africa. I had drafted it — elegantly, if I do say so myself — and faxed if off, as one did in those days, to our client, a giant investment bank, and the prospective purchaser. The week’s work done, I was putting my blazer on and groping for my brolley when the phone rang.

I turned on my heels and regarded it resentfully. Should I answer?

Valour got the better part of discretion, and I did. It turned out to be a partner from that famous derivatives firm[1] Stephenson Harwood. He announced himself as the prospective client’s solicitor, and told me he had some comments on the swap. Only he pronounced it “sw-æp”, to rhyme with “crap”, and not “sw-ŏp”, to rhyme with chop — something that after Noel Edmonds, you would think no self-respecting British child, let alone one who had matured into a derivatives whizz, would ever do.

In any case this chap sent in his mark-up of the, er, sw-æp, and he had rather gone to town on it, in a manner indicating only a passing acquaintance with the derivatives market, but great expertise in the complications that arise when one transports goods by sea.

My supervising partner in those days was an excitable fellow[2]. I confess it was with prurient glee that I trotted around and dropped the comments — which were as compendious as they were ill-informed — on his desk, the way an obstreperous child might drop a lighten match into a canister of petrol.

It had the anticipated effect. Whilst the young JC was patiently explaining this unexpected setback to our client, represented by a callow but quick young fellow from Dublin, in his first year out from Trinity College, my supervisor stormed into the room, his face a rich shade of puce.

“I have never been so outraged”, said he. “I have covered his draft with unspeakable obscenities! Filthy! words that start with “c” and “p”!”

There was the most exquisite pause before the young Irishman on the speakerphone interjected:

Conditions precedent?”

  1. Not famous. It was and, as far as I know, still is, a shipping and marine insurance specialist.
  2. Highly excitable. To keep a lid on his blood pressure, he retired shortly thereafter and now runs a newsagent in Gillingham.