Template:Workstream lead capsule: Difference between revisions

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Sounds glamorous; isn’t.  
Sounds glamorous; isn’t.  


Firstly, “lead” in this context means “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”. A workstream lead is one engaged, on a [[Contractor|temporary]] basis, to prod unwilling employees along a manifestly pointless “[[Change manager|business change]]” program whereby outwardly useful staff will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a bucket, so the bucket can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on.  
Firstly, “lead”, in this context, means, “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”.  


Requires experience organising [[all-hands conference call]]s, walking through action logs and compiling [[dashboard]]s full of [[RAG status]]. Until your contract runs out.
A “workstream lead” is one engaged, as a [[contractor]], to prod unwilling employees along a manifestly pointless “business change” program, whereby outwardly useful staff will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a [[bucket]], so the [[bucket]] can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on.
 
Requires experience organising [[all-hands conference call]]s, walking through action logs and compiling [[dashboard]]s full of [[RAG status]]es. Until your contract runs out.

Latest revision as of 12:32, 5 December 2023

Sounds glamorous; isn’t.

Firstly, “lead”, in this context, means, “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”.

A “workstream lead” is one engaged, as a contractor, to prod unwilling employees along a manifestly pointless “business change” program, whereby outwardly useful staff will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a bucket, so the bucket can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on.

Requires experience organising all-hands conference calls, walking through action logs and compiling dashboards full of RAG statuses. Until your contract runs out.