The Atlantis Variation: Difference between revisions

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The [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], also known as the “[[Atlantis agreement]]”, is a rumoured edition of the {{isdama}}, which, according to legend, was ''almost'' completed in September 2008, but never saw the light of day. Instead it collapsed into a form of dark energy that powers the universe.  
The [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], also known as the “[[Atlantis agreement]]”, is an apocryphal edition of the {{isdama}}, ''almost'' completed in September 2008. It never saw the light of day, instead collapsing into a form of dark energy that powers the universe.
 
It was to be short, plainly worded, preternaturally future-proofed, agile agreement allowing counterparties to agree trading terms with little fuss and only the cursory forensic management that could be garnered through unskilled personnel in low-cost jurisdictions and, eventually, robots. It used distributed ledger technology. You know, block-chain.


Had it been implemented, it would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated documentation across a wide range of products ([[including but not limited to]] [[repo]], [[stock lending]], [[prime brokerage]], [[exchange traded derivatives]], [[commodities]] and [[emissions]], finally moving the financial world into a stable state: a [[sunlit utopia]] in which all risks are known, all eventualities experienced and contingencies accounted for. Risk would finally be banished for ever.
Had it been implemented, it would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated documentation across a wide range of products ([[including but not limited to]] [[repo]], [[stock lending]], [[prime brokerage]], [[exchange traded derivatives]], [[commodities]] and [[emissions]], finally moving the financial world into a stable state: a [[sunlit utopia]] in which all risks are known, all eventualities experienced and contingencies accounted for. Risk would finally be banished for ever.


It was to be short, plainly worded, preternaturally future-proofed, agile agreement allowing counterparties to agree trading terms with little fuss and only the cursory forensic management that could be garnered through unskilled personel in low-cost off-shore jurisdictions or, eventually, robots. It even used distributed legder technology. You know, block-chain.
As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days exceeded its [[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension|Schwarzschild radius]] altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, drafts, the firm {{ISDA}} engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs [[Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon]])<ref>[[TFBPB]] has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global behemoth.</ref> and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group, seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and [[For the avoidance of doubt|doubt-avoidances]] for the greater good of the standard form simply vanished. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting miscellania and tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all. And the robots —


====What happened?====
Well, speaking of robots, it is said that Roy Batty’s speech from ''Blade Runner'' (1982) fell through a tear in the fabric of the [[space-time continuum]] created by the implosion. Rutger Hauer adapted it, but only slightly, from this exchange, between an [[ETD]] [[negotiator]] and a mortally injured {{tag|CDO}} lawyer as he dragged his mutilated psyche away from the smoking ruins of his employer:  
As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days exceeded its [[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension|Schwarzschild radius]] altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, earlier drafts, the firm {{ISDA}} engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs [[Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon]])<ref>[[TFBPB]] has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global behemoth</ref> and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and [[For the avoidance of doubt|doubt-avoidances]] for the greater good of the standard form. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting miscellania and tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all. And the robots —
===The shoulders of Orion 2006-1 CDO===
Well, speaking of robots, it is said that Roy Batty’s speech from ''Blade Runner'' (1982) fell through a hole in the [[space-time continuum]] created by shockwaves from the implosion. Rutger Hauer adapted it, but only slightly, from this exchange, between an ETD negotiator and a mortally injured {{tag|CDO}} lawyer as he dragged his wrecked psyche away from the smoking ruins of his investment bank:  


“You thought you knew ''everything'', didn't you,” said the hapless futures expert. He [[sneered]]. “And ''now'' look at us. ''You'' did this. You have no idea.”  
“You thought you knew ''everything'', didn't you,” [[sneered]] the hapless futures specialist. “And ''now'' look at us. ''You'' did this. You have no idea.”  


The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and said this:
The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and said :


{{box|
:''I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.''
:''I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.''
:''Attack-ships on fire off the red-herring of Orion 2006-1 hybrid CDO.''
:''Attack-ships on fire off the red-herring of Orion 2006-1 hybrid CDO.''
Line 20: Line 18:
:''All those moments will be lost in time, like payments in kind.''
:''All those moments will be lost in time, like payments in kind.''
:''Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.''
:''Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.''
}}


{{ref}}
{{ref}}
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{{egg}}
{{draft}}
{{draft}}

Revision as of 09:44, 3 August 2017

The 2008 ISDA Master Agreement, also known as the “Atlantis agreement”, is an apocryphal edition of the ISDA Master Agreement, almost completed in September 2008. It never saw the light of day, instead collapsing into a form of dark energy that powers the universe.

It was to be short, plainly worded, preternaturally future-proofed, agile agreement allowing counterparties to agree trading terms with little fuss and only the cursory forensic management that could be garnered through unskilled personnel in low-cost jurisdictions and, eventually, robots. It used distributed ledger technology. You know, block-chain.

Had it been implemented, it would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated documentation across a wide range of products (including but not limited to repo, stock lending, prime brokerage, exchange traded derivatives, commodities and emissions, finally moving the financial world into a stable state: a sunlit utopia in which all risks are known, all eventualities experienced and contingencies accounted for. Risk would finally be banished for ever.

As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days exceeded its Schwarzschild radius altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, drafts, the firm ISDA engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon)[1] and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group, seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and doubt-avoidances for the greater good of the standard form simply vanished. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting miscellania and tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all. And the robots —

Well, speaking of robots, it is said that Roy Batty’s speech from Blade Runner (1982) fell through a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum created by the implosion. Rutger Hauer adapted it, but only slightly, from this exchange, between an ETD negotiator and a mortally injured CDO lawyer as he dragged his mutilated psyche away from the smoking ruins of his employer:

“You thought you knew everything, didn't you,” sneered the hapless futures specialist. “And now look at us. You did this. You have no idea.”

The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and said :

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
Attack-ships on fire off the red-herring of Orion 2006-1 hybrid CDO.
I watched mezzanine-tranches glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like payments in kind.
Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.

References

  1. TFBPB has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global behemoth.