Buttocractics

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Office anthropology™
Now why on God’s green earth anyone would want to sit on an egg, we can only speculate. But if you do, the EggSitter™ has yo’ arse covered.
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Buttocractics
ˈbʌtəkrækˈtɪks (n.)
The branch of philosophy that examines the basic structure of self-interest. It is often characterised as “first philosophy”, implying that it is more fundamental to our understanding of the cosmos than other, more superficial forms of philosophical inquiry such as metaphysics or epistemology.

Buttocractics was first eludicated by Greek philospher Arsimedes in his book Buttocraxis (βυτοκρακτική) in which described an intrinsic and measurable sense of self-interest, which he denoted by the lower case omega (ω)) which is, of course, the ancient theological disposition of being elsewhere when blame is attributed, or “avoiding the apocalypse”.

Arsimedes thence deduced the maxim by which all persons charged with the grave responsibility of middle management live:

primum nil errare: “First, do no harm to your own career”.

See also