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| One trained in the law, genus ''[[causidicus mediocris]]'', whose principle fear is being blind-sided by the very language — English — in which {{sex|she}} must ply her trade. Such individuals are uniquely susceptible to [[Schwarzschild radii]]. When you press her why she must so persistently desecrate her calling, she will tell you this:
| | #redirect[[legal eagle]] |
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| “My drafting may be convoluted, but it is effective: It must be, for we haven’t had any [[litigation]] on it.”
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| If you have the patience, this is the time to wheel out your pre-prepared joke:
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| {{box|
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| ===The standard issue drafting joke===
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| “Did you know”, you say, “that, for a disguise, [[elephant]]s paint the soles of their feet yellow, and hide upside-down in custard?” <br>
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| “Why, that’s preposterous!”<br>
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| “Aha! but have you ever ''seen'' an [[elephant]] hiding upside-down in custard?”<br>
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| “No, of course not!”<br>
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| “SHOWS WHAT A GOOD DISGUISE IT IS.”<br>}}
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| Walk proudly away. Your work is done. Of course it won’t make a blind bit of difference, but you may feel better.
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| All lawyers are philosophers; good lawyers are just bad ones. Bad lawyers are worse. They have nothing on philosophers, though, who are terrible lawyers. The pits.
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| {{dramatis personae}}
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| {{C2|latin|metaphor}}
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| {{ref}}
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