Template:Dsh special pleading quote: Difference between revisions

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{{Quote|
{{Quote|
''QUEEN'': This covenant is well-drafted, though lengthy. <br>
''QUEEN'': This covenant is well-drafted, but yegads! ’Tis lengthy. <br>
''TRIAGO'' (''bowing unctuously''): The writer [[shall]] be [[deemed]] hereinbefore [[obliged]]. <br>
''[[Triago|TRIAGO]]'' (''bowing unctuously''): The writer [[shall]] be [[deemed]] hereinbefore [[obliged]]. <br>
''HERCULIO'': My liege and madam, to expostulate <br>
''[[Herculio|HERCULIO]]'': My liege and madam, to expostulate <br>
What brevity should be, what clarity is — <br>
What brevity should be, what clarity is — <br>
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.<br>
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.<br>
Line 11: Line 11:
Since brevity is the soul of wit, <br>
Since brevity is the soul of wit, <br>
And [[boilerplate]] the crutch of wretched [[tedium]]<br>
And [[boilerplate]] the crutch of wretched [[tedium]]<br>
I will be brief, where noble Triago, for all his facility, cannot.<br>
I will be brief, where Triago, in all his trite facility, cannot.<br>
''TRIAGO'': With the greatest of respect I would be inclined to disagree.
{{triago deemery}}
''HERCULIO'': Inclined straight out? Not [[Deemed|deemèd]] to be so?  
''HERCULIO'': How now, good lady: doth thou now understand? <br>
''TRIAGO'': Yes, [[Deemed|deemèd]], perchance. It avoids some doubt.
''QUEEN'': I fear I do, in that I do not.<br>
“Mad” call I it, for, to define true madness,<br>
Speak, Triago — but pray, be quick. <br>
What is ’t but to be nothing else but mad?<br>
''TRIAGO'': Celerity shall herein be mutually agreed to be — and shall be deemed to be — the watchword Madam! <br>
But let that go.<br>
''HERCULIO'': There goeth that wretched [[deemery]] — <br>
''QUEEN'': More matter with less art.<br>
''TRIAGO'': Was it not ever not unlike a thing [[Triple negative|unsuch as this]]? <br>
''HERCULIO'': Madam, I swear I use no art at all.<br>
''QUEEN'': Damn and blast your eyes Triago! <br>
That he’s mad, ’tis true; ’tis true ’tis pity,<br>
Have at you now! <br>
And pity ’tis ’tis true—a foolish figure,<br>
:''QUEEN runs TRIAGO through with a rapier and exits'' <br>
But farewell it, for I will use no art.<br>
''HERCULIO'':
Mad let us grant him then, and now remains<br>
:We fold our patron’s righteous sleep in word pollution <br>
That we find out the cause of this effect,<br>
:By the chaff and shucks and hulls of convolution <br>
Or, rather say, the cause of this defect,<br>
:And whoever buys these minty lines: understand <br>
For this effect defective comes by cause.<br><br>
:Lexical complexity doth, pro rata with thy budget, soon expand.<br><br>
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.<br>}}
:''CURTAIN''}}

Latest revision as of 07:59, 11 April 2022

QUEEN: This covenant is well-drafted, but yegads! ’Tis lengthy.
TRIAGO (bowing unctuously): The writer shall be deemed hereinbefore obliged.
HERCULIO: My liege and madam, to expostulate
What brevity should be, what clarity is —
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.
’Tis buried — lost — among the cluttered syntax of this deed.
QUEEN: ’Twas no compliment, good Herculio, rest assured.
A crafty phrase to propitiate that noisome clerk, no more.
HERCULIO: Madam, I do concur!
Since brevity is the soul of wit,
And boilerplate the crutch of wretched tedium
I will be brief, where Triago, in all his trite facility, cannot.
TRIAGO: Milady! With all due and payable respect, and interest accrued thereon
I wouldst be inclined to be supportive of dissent —
QUEEN: O, exasperating vapours! Whatever doth he mean?
HERCULIO: Triago disagrees.
“Inclined”, Triago? “Supportive”? As straight as that?
No deemery to wrap it round?
TRIAGO: Aye, deemèd, perchance — I pray just such indulgence
To vouchsafe avoidance of some doubt.
QUEEN: Doubt, Triago?
TRIAGO: I’ll think of something, Majesty.
HERCULIO: How now, good lady: doth thou now understand?
QUEEN: I fear I do, in that I do not.
Speak, Triago — but pray, be quick.
TRIAGO: Celerity shall herein be mutually agreed to be — and shall be deemed to be — the watchword Madam!
HERCULIO: There goeth that wretched deemery —
TRIAGO: Was it not ever not unlike a thing unsuch as this?
QUEEN: Damn and blast your eyes Triago!
Have at you now!

QUEEN runs TRIAGO through with a rapier and exits

HERCULIO:

We fold our patron’s righteous sleep in word pollution
By the chaff and shucks and hulls of convolution
And whoever buys these minty lines: understand
Lexical complexity doth, pro rata with thy budget, soon expand.

CURTAIN
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