Template:Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension: Difference between revisions

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There is a threshold (the “[[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension]]”) beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate [[lawyer|lawyers]], para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, a legal {{tag|contract}} passes irreversibly into a kind of [[heat death]] of ennui and unintelligibility. An [[Mediocre lawyer|Earth-bound lawyer]] crossing that threshold passes a point of no return: {{Sex|she}} will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the contract, will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, only to be regurgitated into a parallel universe as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy<ref>Which, curiously, may take the shape of an [[exchange-traded derivatives]] specialist.</ref>.
A negotiation’s “[[event horizon]]”<ref>also its “[[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension|Schwarzschild radius ]]”</ref> is the threshold  beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate [[lawyer|lawyers]], para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, the legal [[contract]] passes irreversibly into a [[heat death]] of pure ennui. An [[Mediocre lawyer|Earth-bound lawyer]] crossing that threshold passes a [[point of no return]]: {{Sex|she}} will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the [[contract]], will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, whence her only hope is to be regurgitated into a [[parallel universe]] as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy (known in some markets as an [[exchange-traded derivatives]] specialist).


There is a theory that this happened in September 2008 during the finalisation of the [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], a catastrophic spacio-legal event that caused such a huge dislocation of Euclidian space-time that it almost destroyed global finance as we know it.
This came close to happening in September 2008 during the finalisation of the [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], a catastrophic spacio-legal dislocation of Euclidian space-time that almost destroyed global finance as we know it.

Latest revision as of 13:30, 14 August 2024

A negotiation’s “event horizon”[1] is the threshold beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate lawyers, para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, the legal contract passes irreversibly into a heat death of pure ennui. An Earth-bound lawyer crossing that threshold passes a point of no return: she will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the contract, will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, whence her only hope is to be regurgitated into a parallel universe as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy (known in some markets as an exchange-traded derivatives specialist).

This came close to happening in September 2008 during the finalisation of the 2008 ISDA Master Agreement, a catastrophic spacio-legal dislocation of Euclidian space-time that almost destroyed global finance as we know it.

  1. ↑ also its “Schwarzschild radius ”
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