Template:Dsh special pleading quote: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(16 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Quote|
{{dia|Queen|This covenant is well-drafted, but yegads! ’Tis lengthy.}}
''QUEEN'': This covenant is well-drafted, though lengthy. <br>
{{dia|Triago|(''bowing unctuously''): The writer [[shall]] be [[deemed]] hereinbefore [[obliged]].}}
''TRIAGO'' (''bowing unctuously''): The writer [[shall]] be [[deemed]] hereinbefore [[obliged]]. <br>
{{dia|Herculio|My liege and madam, to expostulate<br>
''HERCULIO'': My liege and madam, to expostulate <br>
What brevity should be, what clarity is —<br>
What brevity should be, what clarity is — <br>
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.<br>
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.<br>
’Tis buried — lost — among the cluttered syntax of this deed.<br>
’Tis buried — lost — among the cluttered syntax of this deed.}}
''QUEEN'': ’Twas no compliment, good Herculio, rest assured.<br>
{{dia|Queen|’Twas no compliment, good Herculio, rest assured.<br>
A crafty phrase to propitiate that noisome clerk, no more.<br>
A crafty phrase to propitiate that noisome clerk, no more.}}
''HERCULIO'': Madam, I do concur!<br>
{{dia|Herculio|Madam, I do concur!<br>
Since brevity is the soul of wit, <br>
Since brevity is the soul of wit,<br>
And [[boilerplate]] the crutch of wretched [[tedium]]<br>
And [[boilerplate]] the crutch of wretched [[tedium]]<br>
I will be brief, where noble Triago, for all his facility, cannot.<br>
I will be brief, where Triago, in all his trite facility, cannot.}}
''TRIAGO'': With the greatest of respect I would be inclined to disagree.
{{triago deemery}}
''HERCULIO'': Inclined straight out? Not [[Deemed|deemèd]] to be so?
{{dia|Herculio|How now, good lady: doth thou now understand?}}
''TRIAGO'':  Yes, [[Deemed|deemèd]], perchance. It avoids some doubt.
{{dia|Queen|I fear I do, in that I do not.<br>
“Mad” call I it, for, to define true madness,<br>
Speak, Triago — but pray, be quick.}}
What is ’t but to be nothing else but mad?<br>
{{dia|Triago|Celerity shall herein be mutually agreed to be — and shall be deemed to be — the watchword Madam!}}
But let that go.<br>
{{dia|Herculio|There goeth that wretched [[deemery]] —}}
''QUEEN'': More matter with less art.<br>
{{dia|Triago|Was it not ever not unlike a thing [[Triple negative|unsuch as this]]?}}
''HERCULIO'': Madam, I swear I use no art at all.<br>
{{dia|Queen|Damn and blast your eyes, Triago!<br>
That he’s mad, ’tis true; ’tis true ’tis pity,<br>
Have at you now!}}
And pity ’tis ’tis true—a foolish figure,<br>
 
But farewell it, for I will use no art.<br>
''QUEEN runs TRIAGO through with a rapier and exits''<br>
Mad let us grant him then, and now remains<br>
 
That we find out the cause of this effect,<br>
{{dia|Herculio|We fold our patron’s righteous sleep in word pollution<br>
Or, rather say, the cause of this defect,<br>
By the chaff and shucks and hulls of convolution<br>
For this effect defective comes by cause.<br><br>
And whoever buys these minty lines: understand<br>
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.<br>}}
Lexical complexity doth, pro rata with thy budget, soon expand.}}
 
''CURTAIN''

Latest revision as of 08:03, 11 September 2024

Queen: This covenant is well-drafted, but yegads! ’Tis lengthy.

Triago: (bowing unctuously): The writer shall be deemed hereinbefore obliged.

Herculio: My liege and madam, to expostulate
What brevity should be, what clarity is —
Why “day” is business day, and “time” is closing time.
’Tis buried — lost — among the cluttered syntax of this deed.

Queen: ’Twas no compliment, good Herculio, rest assured.
A crafty phrase to propitiate that noisome clerk, no more.

Herculio: Madam, I do concur!
Since brevity is the soul of wit,
And boilerplate the crutch of wretched tedium
I will be brief, where Triago, in all his trite facility, cannot.

Triago: Milady! With all due and payable respect, and interest accrued thereon
I wouldst be inclined to be supportive of dissent —

Queen: O, exasperating vapours! Whatever doth he mean?

Herculio: Triago disagrees.
Inclined”, Triago?
Supportive”?
As straight as that?
No deemery to wrap it round?

Triago: Aye, deemèd, perchance — I pray just such indulgence
To vouchsafe avoidance of some doubt.

Queen: Doubt, Triago?

Triago: I’ll think of something, Majesty.

Herculio: How now, good lady: doth thou now understand?

Queen: I fear I do, in that I do not.
Speak, Triago — but pray, be quick.

Triago: Celerity shall herein be mutually agreed to be — and shall be deemed to be — the watchword Madam!

Herculio: There goeth that wretched deemery

Triago: Was it not ever not unlike a thing unsuch as this?

Queen: Damn and blast your eyes, Triago!
Have at you now!

QUEEN runs TRIAGO through with a rapier and exits

Herculio: We fold our patron’s righteous sleep in word pollution
By the chaff and shucks and hulls of convolution
And whoever buys these minty lines: understand
Lexical complexity doth, pro rata with thy budget, soon expand.

CURTAIN