When budget allows: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
Line 9: Line 9:
“When budget allows” is a [[hypothetical]] time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s ''Tomorrow'', is always there, dangling tantalisingly before us, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is an [[Indeterminate liability|indeterminate]] time of hope and aspiration: a sunlit dream-time in which there ''will'' be budget to hook up that feed, build out that [[API]] or invest in that brilliant piece of [[legaltech]], for which there is no budget ''now''.
“When budget allows” is a [[hypothetical]] time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s ''Tomorrow'', is always there, dangling tantalisingly before us, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is an [[Indeterminate liability|indeterminate]] time of hope and aspiration: a sunlit dream-time in which there ''will'' be budget to hook up that feed, build out that [[API]] or invest in that brilliant piece of [[legaltech]], for which there is no budget ''now''.


Logicians will immediately sense a [[paradox]]. If its worth ''now'' fails to pass muster, its [[present value]] should it be delivered at an unknowable point in the henceforth is surely smaller still. The aperture constricts the further out we push. Through what of contortion in the [[Space-tedium continuum|spacetedium continuum]] must we crawl to reach that happy land?  
Logicians will immediately sense a [[paradox]]. If its worth ''now'' fails to pass muster, its [[present value]] should it be delivered at an unknowable point in the henceforth is surely smaller still. The aperture constricts the further out we push. What kind of contortion in [[Space-tedium continuum|spacetime]] must we therefore crawl through, to reach that happy land?  


Their suspicions will be confirmed by that glint in the [[middle manager]]’s eye. Presented with some supplicant’s woe-filled entreaties for the proposed expenditure, he will happily promise to sort it all out ''just as soon as budget allows''. He will say this with confidence and without regret, while maintaining eye contact. He can assure, in good conscience, that all will, at that time, be well. For that time — the notional time in the future ''whjen budget allows'' is, literally, unknowable, in that ''it will never be known''.
Minds will hardly be put at rest by that glint in the [[middle manager]]’s eye. Presented with some supplicant’s exhortations, he will happily promise to sort it all out ''just as soon as budget allows''. He will say this with confidence and without regret, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He can assure her, in good conscience, that all will, when the appointed time comes, be well. For ''then'' — the notional time in the future ''when budget allows'' is ''literally'' unknowable.
 
''It will never be known''.


For if there is not enough interest to shell out for it ''now'', will it be any closer to that threshold ''next'' month, ''next'' quarter, or by the time the ''next'' fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?  
For if there is not enough interest to shell out for it ''now'', will it be any closer to that threshold ''next'' month, ''next'' quarter, or by the time the ''next'' fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?  

Revision as of 17:11, 12 October 2021

Annie, get your gun
In which the curmudgeonly old sod puts the world to rights.
Index — Click ᐅ to expand:
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

The sun’ll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow ’til there’s none
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! —
You’re always a day away.

— “Tomorrow”, from Annie (1977)

“When budget allows” is a hypothetical time in the future that, like Little Orphan Annie’s Tomorrow, is always there, dangling tantalisingly before us, as each day turns, getting no nearer. It is an indeterminate time of hope and aspiration: a sunlit dream-time in which there will be budget to hook up that feed, build out that API or invest in that brilliant piece of legaltech, for which there is no budget now.

Logicians will immediately sense a paradox. If its worth now fails to pass muster, its present value should it be delivered at an unknowable point in the henceforth is surely smaller still. The aperture constricts the further out we push. What kind of contortion in spacetime must we therefore crawl through, to reach that happy land?

Minds will hardly be put at rest by that glint in the middle manager’s eye. Presented with some supplicant’s exhortations, he will happily promise to sort it all out just as soon as budget allows. He will say this with confidence and without regret, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He can assure her, in good conscience, that all will, when the appointed time comes, be well. For then — the notional time in the future when budget allows — is literally unknowable.

It will never be known.

For if there is not enough interest to shell out for it now, will it be any closer to that threshold next month, next quarter, or by the time the next fiscal budgeting cycle rolls around?

Rhetorical question.

See also