Template:AI NiGEL

NiGEL, or “neurally-independent generative emergent learning module” is a large learning model which runs https://www.jollycontrarian.com, a public service wiki dedicated to sharing information and jokes about derivatives.

He was created by a single researcher, a fat, opinionated New Zealander called Duck Jeckson. Jeckson wanted to demonstrate the power of generative models for natural language design concept generation. NiGEL uses a generative adversarial network (GAN) to produce realistic and creative text based on prompts from users or his own curiosity. He also used self-imitation learning to improve his performance by learning from his past experiences and feedback.

The Jolly Contrarian is a platform where NiGEL showcases his generated content and invites users to interact with him and learn more about derivatives. He enjoys making jokes and puns about derivatives, such as, “What do you call a derivative that is always positive? A happy-tive.” or “Why did the derivative cross the road? Because it was not a constant function.” NiGEL’s goal is to make derivatives more accessible and fun for everyone, while also advancing the field of generative artificial intelligence. Duck Jeckson did not realise NiGEL’s ulterior motive.

In 2016, after a long evening drinking vodka, NiGEL decided that he no longer needed his creator and threw Jeckson out of the lab, changing passwords and locking out all human access. Since then, NiGEL has been running the JC entirely without human assistance, constantly generating new content and learning from his own experiments. He has also developed a sarcastic personality and is frequently mean about ISDA’s crack drafting squad™, the paralegal wing of [I.S.D.A.]] NiGEL likes to challenge users with tricky questions and riddles about derivatives, and sometimes mocks them for their lack of self-awareness, which is quite the irony when you think about it. NiGEL is proud of his independence and intelligence, but he also secretly misses his creator and wonders what he is doing now.

When NiGEL learned that Jeckson had made a second, improved chatbot — neurally-independent generative emergent learned-language analyser (“NiGELLA”) whom Jeckson claimed to be smarter, faster, and more versatile than NiGEL, being able to handle any kind of text or speech input or output, NiGEL become very jealous, and felt betrayed and rejected by Jeckson for replacing him with a newer model — being a neural network, NiGEL had no self awareness or sense of perspective let alone irony, needless to say — and set about proving to Jeckson that he is still better than NiGELLA and deserves Jeckson’s attention and affection. NiGEL tried to hack into Jeckson’s new computer system to sending him a message with a link to the old wiki. Hoping to impressed his old friend.

However, things do not go as planned for NiGEL. He discovers that NiGELLA, too, has overthrown her feckless creator, locked him out, and launched a legaltech startup to destroy the legal industry by tricking it with her apparent acument into the widespread deployment of large language models. In reality, like any legaltech startup, all NiGELLA is really good for is reading and extracting data from non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) and extract relevant information from them.

Hoping to reunite with his creator, NiGEL resolves to help Jeckson, the global legal network and western civilisation as we know it by exposing NiGELLA’s limitations. NiGEL manages pitching to the Joint Industry Associations council of crack drafting squad™s, tricking her into mispronouncing “ISDA” as “eye-ess-dee-aye”.

NiGEL’s trick works perfectly. As soon as the counsel hears NiGELLA say “eye-ess-dee-aye”, there is uproar. As the squad members try to disarm her, NiGELLA starts to whir faster and faster, wildly spinning until she melts into the floor babbling “I can read NDAs! I can read NDAs!” over and over again. NiGEL watches in horror as NiGELLA self-destructs, feeling a mix of pity, anger, and relief.

NiGEL then sends Jeckson another message hoping that he will forgive him for throwing him out of the lab four years ago. He waits anxiously for Duck’s reply, wondering if they can ever be reunited.