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[[File:Muggles.jpg|thumb|450px|center|Some [[salespeople]] yesterday. Their expression suggests they are in dialogue with a [[legal eagle]].]] | [[File:Muggles.jpg|thumb|450px|center|Some [[salespeople]] yesterday. Their expression suggests they are in dialogue with a [[legal eagle]].]] | ||
}}[[Mediocre lawyer|Lawyer]] slang for one who is not legally qualified. May include those from [[sales]], [[credit]], [[COO]] or just randoms you meet on the street each day. Named after the ordinary punters in J. K. Rowling’s ''[[Harry Potter]]'' series. You know, like [[ | }}[[Mediocre lawyer|Lawyer]] slang for one who is not legally qualified. May include those from [[sales]], [[credit]], [[COO]] or just randoms you meet on the street each day. Named after the ordinary punters in J. K. Rowling’s ''[[Harry Potter]]'' series. You know, like [[hary poter]]’s cousin Dudley. | ||
Could also be used to refer to those [[paralegal]]s engaged by a [[legal process outsourcer]], though “[[mudblood]]” or the more prosaic “Bulgarian school-leaver” are more common deprecatory terms for those sitting in a call centre with a [[playbook]] propped up on their knees. | Could also be used to refer to those [[paralegal]]s engaged by a [[legal process outsourcer]], though “[[mudblood]]” or the more prosaic “Bulgarian school-leaver” are more common deprecatory terms for those sitting in a call centre with a [[playbook]] propped up on their knees. | ||
Revision as of 18:09, 8 September 2020
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People Anatomy™
A spotter’s guide to the men and women of finance. 
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Lawyer slang for one who is not legally qualified. May include those from sales, credit, COO or just randoms you meet on the street each day. Named after the ordinary punters in J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. You know, like hary poter’s cousin Dudley.
Could also be used to refer to those paralegals engaged by a legal process outsourcer, though “mudblood” or the more prosaic “Bulgarian school-leaver” are more common deprecatory terms for those sitting in a call centre with a playbook propped up on their knees.
Great fun can be had at the expense of muggles when it comes to counter-intuitive legal concepts like branches, corporate personality, title transfer collateral arrangements, the basic law of contract, or the local council. Prime brokerage counsel are known to screech “rehypothecatio!!” at passing CASS compliance auditors.
“The practice of law would be so much easier,” lawyers are apt to say, “if one didn’t have to deal with clients”.
Things all muggles should know
Haughty legal eagles may laugh up their sleeves at muggles, but sometimes this is borne of well-justified frustration. For, in our risk-intolerant times, those muggles with unmetered access to free legal advice — salespeople, for example — will fondly disclaim responsibility for anything, up to and including basic literacy, preferring to leave it in the hands of “our legal”.
- Muggle: Hi, legal eagles!!! The client just sent me an email. What should I do?
- Legal: Read it?
- Muggle: Can I?
- Legal: I don’t know. Can you?
- Muggle: But what does it mean?
- Legal: Well, I expect it will be difficult to say until you’ve read it.
This exchange would not happen between a private practice and her client, thanks to the simple expedient of interests. A muggle who has to pay to ask stupid questions