Qix
|
The JC gets all figurative
|
Qix was a pioneering arcade game made by the Taito Corporation of Japan, which wasn't nearly as good as Defender. You can learn more about it here, but for our purposes it is a metaphor for stupid legal drafting.
Gameplay
You control a marker that can draw lines (“Stix”) on a black screen of unclaimed “playfield”. The goal is to create closed rectangles on the playfield. the playfield is inhabited with a “Qix” (a stick-like entity that perform graceful but unpredictable motions within the confines of the unclaimed playfield), which will kill you if it can touch you or an uncompleted rectangle while you in the process of drawing it. When completed, the captured rectangle becomes a solid colour (depending on what speed you drew it at) and points are awarded. To complete a level, the player must claim 75% of the playfield with solid rectangles.
You die if the Qix touches any uncompleted Stix or if your marker is touched by any of the “Sparx” – enemies that traverse all playfield edges except uncompleted Stix. There is no defence against the Qix or Sparx (that is, no smart bomb or anything like that) and you must out-maneuver them in order to survive.
A metaphor for the ontological weakness that besets the legal mind
The flaw in the game is that a gap must have a certain width before a Qix can get through it. One can nearly close off space so that boxes made in the space still count, but the Qix is, practically, shut out. It can’t get to you so you are free to create elaborate patterns and intricate boxes to your heart’s content, without fear of annihilation. This is more or less the life goal of a mediocre lawyer. Template:Space invaders