Shall
A verb that seems so safe - so forensic - fusty, old-fashioned, goodie-two-shoes - but yet tantalisingly vague.
It's vague in that it could be an airily floated aspiration of future — “I say,” said Jenkins, absent-mindedly knocking out his pipe on a passing child’s head, “I do believe I shall go to the theatre tonight!”
On the other hand “shall” can be a stentorian direction to carry out a binding duty: “You shall do the dishes, young lady, and you shall do them NOW”.
Lawyers like the latter, and spray it around like they're standing behind a Gatling gun. But here's the problem. Conjugation.
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Airily floated future aspiration |
Stentorian command |
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If, in other words, you’re going to be a dick about it, then you have to be careful which you mean, especially if you are one of these new age folk who like to write contracts in the first and second person. There again, if you’re one of those you’re most likely not to be using shall in the first place, because must or will will do, and they won’t make you sound like quite such an egg.
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