Shall
A verb that seems so safe - so forensic - fusty, old-fashioned, goodie-two-shoes - but yet tantalisingly vague.
It's vague in that it could be an airily floated aspiration of future — “I say,” said Jenkins, absent-mindedly knocking out his pipe on a passing child’s head, “I do believe I shall go to the theatre tonight!”
On the other hand “shall” can be a stentorian direction to carry out a binding duty: “You shall do the dishes, young lady and you shall do them NOW”.
Lawyers like the latter, and spray it around like they're standing behind a Gatling gun. But here's the problem. Conjugation.
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Airily floated future aspiration |
Stentorian command |
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If, in other words, you’re going to be a dick about it,
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