Legal eagle

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A legal eagle yesterday
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A well-meant but still derogatory way to address the legal department, used by junior salespeople in the sincere but mistaken belief it will ward off, and not compound, the resentment that department has for them.

For example:

“Hi Legal Eagles!!
Can you turn around this tsht for me by COB?
Thx

Ghastly, isn’t it? More so when uttered by a newly-migrated structurer who, a few short days ago, worked, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and was himself a beloved member of the legal team.[1]

The legal eagle, genus lingebant ulcera pullum is flightless member of the chicken family. It is mainly harmless and lays nice nest-eggs. Legal eagles can be captive — they flourish in glorified coops called “law firms” — or they can be released in the wild, where, if they can cultivate appropriate camouflage, they can flourish in grassy banks and hedgerows. Whatever their habitat, more than anything else legal eagles fear being blind-sided by the very language in which they ply their trade: English.

See also

References

  1. You could continue to wax Wilfred Owenesque for young sir will, with horrifying speed, find himself quite unbelovèd by his alma mater. They will regard him with the same fondness remaining members of MI6 — the ones who weren’t betrayed and murdered by a filthy double-crosser — have for Kim Philby. This will not be helped by being called legal eagles.