Discredit derivatives

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A class of derivatives invented by pioneering derivatives guru and amateur crime novelist Hunter Barkley which Barkley formulated to allow alternative investment funds who had lazily committed to environmental, social, and corporate governance standards in their portfolio, not realising that investors would then object to their lucratively leveraged investments in firearms, narcotics, palm oil plantations and financial weapons of mass destruction.

Barkley’s idea was to write swaps laying off the risk of shame on those who could most easily bear it — namely the corporates in the actual portfolio themselves. He overcame early objections that this was ridiculously circular by pointing out that so was debt value adjustment hedging, and that kept a phalanx of financial institutions out of technical insolvency — and tyheir DVA trades comfortably remunerated — for three or four years through the credit crunch.

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