Nettance

Myths and legends of the market The JC’s guide to the foundational mythology of the markets.™ →Go uptown A gēnin enduring nettance yesterday. Index: Click ᐅ to expand: Mythology Tell me more Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

Nettance
/nɛtˈəns/ (n.)
In swap mythology, a period of punishment, in the form of solitary confinement in an underground chamber (traditionally the Protocolium) in the Green Chapel) imposed on trainee ninjas (gēnin) who fail to follow standard etiquette, comportment and syntactical conventions — the “protocol” of the Aïessdiyé —during The Wording and similar formal conclaves and ceremonial events in ISDA’s crack drafting squad™ calendar.

When in the Protocolium , gēgin are deprived of all natural light, warmth and human comfort save for a bound set of canonical Luxembourg netting opinions, which they must read and memorise by candlelight by way of “nettance”.

Nettoyees are allowed out only once a day, to be hosed down with wooden pails of ice cold water (the “Liquidity”) while reciting the Swappist Oath.

Nettance is a highly secret procedure. First mentioned in Otto Büchsteins fragmentary labretto Ser Jaramey Slizzard