Any type, kind or variety

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An excellent legal triplicate that conveys in flannel of the finest quality how forlorn is the basic outlook of the average lawyer. There is an urban legend that this was once synthesised into a for the avoidance of doubt clause — in itself a marker of the fearful lawyer’s world-view — to arrive at for the avoidance of doubt of any type, kind of variety. Which is amusing to behold, but until I see it with my own eyes not even I could credit that to a living, breathing lawyer.

But it does make for an excellent definitions section:

For the avoidance of doubt, “avoidance of doubt” shall mean the removal of (or outright refusal to face up to) any doubt, imprecision, ambiguity, double-entendre, alternative way of looking at things or other cognitive dissonance of any type, kind or nature whatsoever including, without limitation (and for the avoidance of doubt):

(A) wilful, inadvertent or innocent misunderstanding on the part of any person, whether as the result of ambiguity, syntactic confusion, metaphor or innuendo;
(B) insecurity, unease, lack of confidence or similar want of conviction about one’s ability, prospects of success or place in the universe, whether or not arising only during moments of weakness, darkness, tiredness or inebriation (and whether or not such insecurity can be easily cured by sobriety, daybreak, a decent lie-in or a hearty walk in the woods);
(C) lack of certainty as to
(a) the existence or occurrence of any other person, place or thing when not personally (or, in the case of a tree falling in a forest, hypothetically) observed; or
(b) one’s own physical existence (it being acknowledged that one’s intellectual existence as a “thinking thing” (res cogitans) is beyond rational scepticism);
(D) causal scepticism, casual scepticism or casual causal scepticism including
(a) suspicion as to the necessary connexion, brought about by their apparent conjunction, between an outcome and its putative cause; and
(b) any tendency to smugly point out others’ confusion between correlation and causation;
(E) undecidability, incompleteness, uncertainty, irrationality, strange-loopiness, circularity, superposition, the requirement in one’s cosmology for unobserved dimensions or nested universes or any other paradoxes produced by theoretical physics or mathematics now or any time in the future (whether and howsoever “future” may be defined, and irrespective of the then-prevailing space-time geometry);
(F) hesitation, procrastination, reluctance, lack of resolve or outright denial of plain facts of life; or
(G) any other analogous neurological state that either party, acting in good faith and a commercially reasonable manner, determines to have materially compromised its ability to articulate itself a sensible and practical way.

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