Awards

From The Jolly Contrarian
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Awards of any kind are a dignity-shredding affair, even when your auditors can count envelopes, but just what is going through the mind of an investment banker, recruitment consultant, lawyer or compliance professional who thinks it wise to hold, be nominated for, win, modestly disclose on LinkedIn, or sycophantically congratulate anyone else who should so modestly disclose, an “industry award” is hard to fathom.

These awards used to be doled out only at gala events convened by tedious free industry magazines as a means of rewarding their patient, persistent advertisers — credulous businesses who don’t in truth get much else out of the marketing spend (does anyone actually read Risk Magazine[1]? Why? When?).

At least in those days, sheepishly returning to your desk with a stoning hangover and an embarrassing plastic figurine was the price of a free night out on the razzle with your buddies — but latterly these austere publications have been joined by obscure “industry networking platforms” and hitherto unheard-of “industry trade associations” in declaring arbitrary, meaningless and frankly outrageous awards to individuals whom you would think the simple pleasure of excelling at their calling, or failing that, being richly paid for it, ought to be reward enough.

Gala dinners are few and far between these days: if you’re lucky, a congratulatory post on the online edition of a magazine no-one reads.

But nonetheless, there are some insecurities that only a gong for “Person of the Year, IT Procurement, Government Sector”; “Business Development Professional of the Year: Information Services Sector” or “Contentious Litigator of the Year - Alternative Dispute and Mediation sector” can redress.

It must be nice to have existential doubts that can be so easily quashed. If an award, “judged” anonymously, by reference to no published criteria, from nominees whose main merit appears to be employment by a prolific advertiser of the sponsor’s product — if a personal tribute as feeble as that can assuage deepest insecurities, your psychology is in rude health indeed.

What is says about the fragility of those who publicly brown-nose such an honoree, on the other is a different story.


References

  1. Careful: http://www.risk.net/risk-magazine is the derivatives risk magazine. https://www.risk-mag.com is a different kind of magazine altogether, although its reader appeal is a bit more obvious.