Get your coat: Difference between revisions
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{{a| | {{a|work|{{image|Coat|jpg|“Get your coat on, love: we’re going to the pub.”<br>“Oh! Am I invited?”<br> “No; I’m turning off the central heating.”}} | ||
}}The time which, as it will come to all of us, will surely come to you. Portents include ''personal'' signs: a [[doughnut]] in your pay packet, or your [[silver bullet]] departing unexpectedly; and ''institutional'' signs: horsemen of the [[Apocalypse]], a plague of locusts, or [[compliance]] declaring it is, finally, a suitable time for [[backtesting]] — but in that last case we’re all done for anyway. | |||
}}The time which, as it will come to all of us, will surely come to you. Portents include [[doughnut]] | |||
But it almost certainly ''won’t'' be heralded by [[chatbot]]s, [[contract review tool]]s or [[document assembly]], however much the [[COO]] might wish it were otherwise. | |||
=== [[Constructive]] get your coat === | |||
There is also the ''constructive'' get your coat: directions to the coat check that ought to be, but inexplicably have not been, issued. These go to the “seasoned professional” who, through inadvertence, discloses a profound ignorance as to matters with which he really ought to be intimate. The [[CFO]] who says, {{viniarquote}}. The [[credit officer]] who conveys the belief that banks keep your money in a little jar with your name on it. The [[CEO]] who thinks it is okay to discuss the banking affairs of a customer she doesn’t like with the BBC over a glass of wine at a charity dinner.<ref>Stop press: we can report NatWest CEO’s coat has now been collected and said CEO is spending more time with her family and her damehood for public service.</ref> | |||
There may be an alternative, better, universe out there where these people are properly self-actualising by wiping tables at Starbucks, but the unhappy fact of our own one is that far too many forge handsome careers in the city without ever being found out. | |||
{{sa}} | {{sa}} | ||
*[[Redundancy]] | |||
*[[Contract analysis]] | |||
*[[Omega]] | *[[Omega]] | ||
*[[Backtesting]] | *[[Backtesting]] | ||
*[[Silver bullet]] | *[[Silver bullet]] | ||
*[[Donut]] | *[[Donut]] | ||
{{Ref}} | |||
Latest revision as of 15:42, 28 September 2023
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Office anthropology™
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The time which, as it will come to all of us, will surely come to you. Portents include personal signs: a doughnut in your pay packet, or your silver bullet departing unexpectedly; and institutional signs: horsemen of the Apocalypse, a plague of locusts, or compliance declaring it is, finally, a suitable time for backtesting — but in that last case we’re all done for anyway.
But it almost certainly won’t be heralded by chatbots, contract review tools or document assembly, however much the COO might wish it were otherwise.
Constructive get your coat
There is also the constructive get your coat: directions to the coat check that ought to be, but inexplicably have not been, issued. These go to the “seasoned professional” who, through inadvertence, discloses a profound ignorance as to matters with which he really ought to be intimate. The CFO who says, “We were seeing things that were 25-standard deviation moves, several days in a row”. The credit officer who conveys the belief that banks keep your money in a little jar with your name on it. The CEO who thinks it is okay to discuss the banking affairs of a customer she doesn’t like with the BBC over a glass of wine at a charity dinner.[1]
There may be an alternative, better, universe out there where these people are properly self-actualising by wiping tables at Starbucks, but the unhappy fact of our own one is that far too many forge handsome careers in the city without ever being found out.
See also
References
- ↑ Stop press: we can report NatWest CEO’s coat has now been collected and said CEO is spending more time with her family and her damehood for public service.