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{{a|g|[[File:Ironmountainbox.jpg|thumb|Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.]]}}
{{a|g|[[File:Ironmountainbox.jpg|thumb|center|Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.]]}}
The obsequious<ref>He’s not really obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?</ref> fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching an [[Iron Mountain]] box full of gonks, [[tombstone]]s, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that shitty [[FT book about derivatives]].  
The obsequious<ref>He’s not really obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?</ref> fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching an [[Iron Mountain]] box full of gonks, [[tombstone]]s, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that shitty [[FT book about derivatives]].  



Revision as of 10:53, 11 June 2020

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™
Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.
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The obsequious[1] fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching an Iron Mountain box full of gonks, tombstones, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that shitty FT book about derivatives.

His, or her, job is to sort out all your contracts, close out the derivatives (cherry-picking your valuable in-the-money trades where possible of course!), liquidate all your assets and distribute the proceeds the line of creditors presently queuing around the block.

It sounds easy but there is a lot of devil in the detail.

References

  1. He’s not really obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?