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{{a|g|{{image|Ironmountainbox|jpg|Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.}}}}The obsequious<ref>He’s not ''really'' obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?</ref> fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching an [[Iron Mountain]] box full of gonks, [[tombstone]]s, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that shitty [[FT book about derivatives]].  
{{a|g|{{image|Ironmountainbox|jpg|Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.}}}}The obsequious<ref>He’s not ''really'' obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?</ref> fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching [[Iron Mountain]] box full of gonks, [[tombstone]]s, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that [[FT book about derivatives]].  


His, or her, job is to sort out all your [[contract|contracts]], close out the [[derivatives]] ([[cherry-pick]]ing your valuable [[in-the-money]] trades where possible of course!), liquidate all your assets and distribute the proceeds the line of creditors presently queuing around the block.
His, or her, job is to sort out all your [[contract|contracts]], close out the [[derivatives]] ([[cherry-pick]]ing your valuable [[in-the-money]] trades where possible of course!), liquidate all your assets and distribute the proceeds the line of creditors presently queuing around the block.


It sounds easy but there is a lot of devil in the detail.
It sounds easy but there is a lot of devil in the detail.
==== Likes ====
* [[Cherry-pick|Cherries]]
* [[Aleatory contract]]<nowiki/>s
* [[Avocat à la cour|Belgian netting lawyers]]
==== Does not like ====
* Derivatives (in MENA jurisdictions)
{{Sa}}
{{Sa}}
*[[Insolvency]]
*[[Insolvency]]

Latest revision as of 11:06, 26 February 2024

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™
Ironmountainbox.jpg
Your whole 25 year professional career boiled down, yesterday.
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The obsequious[1] fellow who comes in when all your employees are wandering around the plaza outside the office clutching Iron Mountain box full of gonks, tombstones, photos of pets, and out-of-date copies of that FT book about derivatives.

His, or her, job is to sort out all your contracts, close out the derivatives (cherry-picking your valuable in-the-money trades where possible of course!), liquidate all your assets and distribute the proceeds the line of creditors presently queuing around the block.

It sounds easy but there is a lot of devil in the detail.

Likes

Does not like

  • Derivatives (in MENA jurisdictions)

See also

References

  1. He’s not really obsequious but it just seemed like the right word. It flowed. You know?