Legaltech entrepreneur

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
People Anatomy™
A spotter’s guide to the men and women of finance.

See? Signed by Satoshi Nakamoto.

Index: Click to expand:

Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Requests? Insults? We’d love to 📧 hear from you.
Sign up for our newsletter.

A former managing associate from Latham & Watkins who, tiring of proof-reading confidentiality agreements at 2:30 am, has realised there must be a better way of earning a living — this much is certainly true — and has concluded that it will be by designing some software than can do that job instead. So, armed with some ropey javascript commissioned from a “developer” in Bucharest she found on “the dark web”,[1] she has embarked on a glorious new business career as a “vendor”.

This is a smart idea because:

(a) it is very easy to impress a general counsel with any technology more sophisticated than a pop-up toaster — all she does is say, “it runs on blockchain”;
(b) the potential revenue, if she can sell her WordPress installation to any significant participant in the financial services industry is out of all proportion to the value the software could possibly deliver, but this doesn’t matter as long as the general counsel thinks it runs on blockchain and the RAG status for innovation in the ManCo deck is therefore green, since it will be the poor lawyers who will get it in the neck when it turns out to be utterly useless;
(c) almost all legaltech is just as ropey, being either hastily cobbled PHP that runs on top of Google Docs; or hastily cobbled-together javascript that runs on top of a generic TensorFlow neural network, so there is a level chance no-one will notice it won’t work anyway.

Before she can say, “software as a service” he’ll be rocking brush-cotton check shirts, living out of a WeWork broom cupboard in Shoreditch while angling for a place in Fuse and doing her own LinkedIn webcasts to the rapturous acclaim of other legaltech entrepreneurs.

See also


  1. I.e., Firefox in incognito mode.