Rubbish maxims: Difference between revisions
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*{{shitmaxim|We rise ourselves by lifting others}} — you say rise, you mean “subjugate”. | *{{shitmaxim|We rise ourselves by lifting others}} — you say rise, you mean “subjugate”. | ||
*{{shitmaxim|It takes being let down to appreciate those who lift you up. Be a lifter}} — or, be the one who lets people down and have an equal impact. | *{{shitmaxim|It takes being let down to appreciate those who lift you up. Be a lifter}} — or, be the one who lets people down and have an equal impact. | ||
*{{shitmaxim|Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.}} — or better still, don’t believe it. | *{{shitmaxim|Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless.}} — or, better still, ''don’t'' believe it since, if you are seeking spiritual guidance from [[LinkedIn]] it almost certainly isn’t true — at least, not in a good way. Even if it might be, there’s much less scope for injury and disappointment if you proceed by assuming it isn’t. | ||
Revision as of 10:59, 28 May 2020
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Crappy advice you find on LinkedIn™
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A love letter to LinkedIn, thought for the day, life coaches and motivation gurus everywhere, this is a collection of airheaded aphorisms that sound profound but ooze vacuity. This is not just when that home insurance lawyer tags impenetrable Kierkegaard aphorisms with #quotestoliveby - I mean how does one live by “life expresses the result of our dominant thoughts?” — what does it even mean, and if it does mean something, won’t it just happen automatically? — but something in more wishful denial of how significance the world in general, and Denise in accounts in particular, attaches to your problems.
- Be the best version of yourself — assuming you are possessed of self-awareness and good judgment, which most of you are not.
- Your value does not decrease based on someone else’s inability to see your worth — except that it does, actually.
- You do not inspire people by showing them how amazing you are, but by showing them how amazing they are — but in most cases neither of you will be inspiring anyone.
- Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours burn any brighter — except that’s why they turn the lights out at the cinema.
- Every boss started out as a worker — as did every deadbeat and every grifter.
- Every journey starts with one step — however pointless it may be.
- We rise ourselves by lifting others — you say rise, you mean “subjugate”.
- It takes being let down to appreciate those who lift you up. Be a lifter — or, be the one who lets people down and have an equal impact.
- Believe this: You are exquisite. You are exceptional. You are limitless. — or, better still, don’t believe it since, if you are seeking spiritual guidance from LinkedIn it almost certainly isn’t true — at least, not in a good way. Even if it might be, there’s much less scope for injury and disappointment if you proceed by assuming it isn’t.