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Der Sieg der Form über Substanz (view source)
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Argumentative young Venetian fellow-about-town [[Don Iolio Contrario]] is employed as an operations manager by his father [[Don Figaro Contrario]] in his struggling spice brokerage. | Argumentative young Venetian fellow-about-town [[Don Iolio Contrario]] is employed as an operations manager by his father [[Don Figaro Contrario]] in his struggling spice brokerage. | ||
Being obsessed with cost control and anxious to be seen as a great financial innovator, [[Don Figaro]] has invested in a “homunculus”, a steam-powered computation machine which will take over the role of the brokers at a fraction of the cost, and with far greater speed and accuracy. But, [[Don Iolio]] says, surely you know, spice broking is a complex business, and no mechanical contraption could possibly replace the skill judgment of an experienced broker? The machine will be hopeless, and a far greater burden on his operation than any benefit it could possibly bring: “''Quella macchina parlante ottusa!''” <ref>“That dim-witted chatbot!”</ref> | Being obsessed with cost control and anxious to be seen as a great financial innovator, [[Don Figaro]] has invested in a “homunculus”, a steam-powered computation machine which will take over the role of the brokers at a fraction of the cost, and with far greater speed and accuracy. But, [[Don Iolio]] says, surely you know, spice broking is a complex business, and no mechanical contraption could possibly replace the skill or judgment of an experienced broker? The machine will be hopeless, and a far greater burden on his operation than any benefit it could possibly bring: “''Quella macchina parlante ottusa!''” <ref>“That dim-witted chatbot!”</ref> | ||
Don Figaro, a vain and stupid man, is exasperated at his errant son and chides him for his romantic and impractical world-view. By way of punishment he consigns [[Don Iolio]] to work in the boiler-room among the brokers. In the rousing<ref>Buchstein ''meant'' it to be rousing, but contemporaneous records suggest audiences found it too loud, rather tuneless and a bit repetitive.</ref> aria ''Niente malattia! Niente vacanze! Niente ora di pranzo!''<ref>“No sickness! No holidays! No lunch-hours!”</ref> Don Figaro, alone on stage, wails, “There you will see how valuable these good-for-nothing spice merchant are! They waste my money! They | Don Figaro, a vain and stupid man, is exasperated at his errant son and chides him for his romantic and impractical world-view. By way of punishment he consigns [[Don Iolio]] to work in the boiler-room among the brokers. In the rousing<ref>Buchstein ''meant'' it to be rousing, but contemporaneous records suggest audiences found it too loud, rather tuneless and a bit repetitive.</ref> aria ''Niente malattia! Niente vacanze! Niente ora di pranzo!''<ref>“No sickness! No holidays! No lunch-hours!”</ref> Don Figaro, alone on stage, wails, “There you will see how valuable these good-for-nothing spice merchant are! They waste my money! They occupy my valuable resources! My new homunculus will not get sick! It will take no vacations! It will take no lunch-breaks!” | ||
Disregarding [[Don Iolio]]’s warnings, [[Don Figaro]] rushes in, impulsively, securing the homunculus, so he thinks, before his devious rival [[Don Inago Montega]] can get it. But [[Don Inago]] has tricked [[Don Figaro]] into a buying the machine, for which he takes out a long-term loan, from Don Inago, at usurious prices. [[Don Inago]] has configured it to perform badly and to cripple Don Figaro's business. | Disregarding [[Don Iolio]]’s warnings, [[Don Figaro]] rushes in, impulsively, securing the homunculus, so he thinks, before his devious rival [[Don Inago Montega]] can get it. But [[Don Inago]] has tricked [[Don Figaro]] into a buying the machine, for which he takes out a long-term loan, from Don Inago, at usurious prices. [[Don Inago]] has configured it to perform badly and to cripple Don Figaro's business. | ||
[[Don Iolio]] descends into the brokerage’s dungeon workhouse. There he meets and falls in love with an enchanting brokeress. She tells him her name is [[Iolande Impulsivia]]. In fact, [[Iolande]] is the wayward daughter of [[Don Inago]], his father’s bitterest enemy. She has run away from her dreadful scheming father and his | [[Don Iolio]] descends into the brokerage’s dungeon workhouse. There he meets and falls in love with an enchanting brokeress. She tells him her name is [[Iolande Impulsivia]]. In fact, [[Iolande]] is the wayward daughter of [[Don Inago]], his father’s bitterest enemy. She has run away from her dreadful scheming father and his colossal wife, aspiring opera diva Grünhilde. | ||
With great fanfare [[Don Figaro]] takes delivery of the machine, which to everyone’s surprise, works - but only because Iolande and [[Don Iolio]] are standing behind the machine ensuring it works and checking everything. It is her brilliant accounting and dextrous handling of exceptions and unexpected use-cases which creates the illusion that machine is a success. | With great fanfare [[Don Figaro]] takes delivery of the machine, which to everyone’s surprise, works - but only because Iolande and [[Don Iolio]] are standing behind the machine ensuring it works and checking everything. It is her brilliant accounting and dextrous handling of exceptions and unexpected use-cases which creates the illusion that machine is a success. | ||
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In a wrenching<ref>''Intended'' to be wrenching, but described as “clanking and discordant, redolent of a fist-fight among ironmonger’s apprentices” by noted critic Ingeborg Von Kleine-Scheidegg.</ref> aria ''Sono Condannato a Essere un Esperto in Materia'' <ref>"I am condemned to be a [[subject matter expert]]"</ref>, Iolande, cast adrift from the firm, drifts aimlessly around the canals of Venice clutching her [[Iron Mountain]] box, tearing out hanks of her hair and pondering whether there is any future to her life at all: ''O, diabolica calamità!''<ref>“O! hellish calamity!”</ref>. | In a wrenching<ref>''Intended'' to be wrenching, but described as “clanking and discordant, redolent of a fist-fight among ironmonger’s apprentices” by noted critic Ingeborg Von Kleine-Scheidegg.</ref> aria ''Sono Condannato a Essere un Esperto in Materia'' <ref>"I am condemned to be a [[subject matter expert]]"</ref>, Iolande, cast adrift from the firm, drifts aimlessly around the canals of Venice clutching her [[Iron Mountain]] box, tearing out hanks of her hair and pondering whether there is any future to her life at all: ''O, diabolica calamità!''<ref>“O! hellish calamity!”</ref>. | ||
At the same time [[Don Iolio]], locked in his father’s operations room, ineffectually rails against the stupidity of his father’s fashionable ideas (his song is ''Il mondo ha una merda per i cervelli''<ref>“The world has ordure for brains.”</ref>). He can only watch as the homunculus, without Iolande to prop it up, starts writing all kinds of contract notes on spices that don’t even exist. It is a disaster and drives [[Don Figaro]] to the brink of ruin. Finally he comes to understand his folly (''O! Consulente di Gestione Scioccca!'' <ref>"Thou foolish management consultant!" </ref> and realising only Iolande can stop this blessed machine and save his family from total ruin, he sends out Don Figaro to find her. | At the same time [[Don Iolio]], locked in his father’s operations room, ineffectually rails against the stupidity of his father’s fashionable ideas (his song is ''Il mondo ha una merda per i cervelli''<ref>“The world has ordure for brains.”</ref>). He can only watch as the homunculus, without Iolande to prop it up, starts writing all kinds of contract notes on spices that don’t even exist. It is a disaster and drives [[Don Figaro]] to the brink of ruin. Finally, he comes to understand his folly (''O! Consulente di Gestione Scioccca!'' <ref>"Thou foolish management consultant!" </ref> and realising only Iolande can stop this blessed machine and save his family from total ruin, he sends out Don Figaro to find her. | ||
Find her he does, floating face-down in the Canale Grande at San Marco Basilica. | Find her he does, floating face-down in the Canale Grande at San Marco Basilica. | ||