A spotter’s guide to the men and women of finance.
Stakeholder /ˈsteɪkˌhəʊldə/ (n.)
1. (Within an organisation): Fellow bureaucrats. Other people in and around the firm who are paid more to care less. The word for the sensation you get when you realise that an organisation as committed as an investment bank is to the precepts of free market capitalism is populated, controlled and managed by individuals whose main function is to devise and oversee the completion of bureaucratic functions — that word is irony.
2. (Beyond the organisation): Those whose interests a corporation’s executive affects a sudden, intense commitment to advancing, by way of explaining why it has signally failed to advance the interests of those whose money the executive is meant to be looking after. For example: polar bears, white rhinoceroses, rain forests and their inhabitants, global equality, and worldwide elimination of income equality.
- An imaginary world in which there is no such thing as bureaucracy.