Techbro on the Clapham Omnibus

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
How to cheer up British commuters, yesterday.
In which the curmudgeonly old sod puts the world to rights.
Index — Click ᐅ to expand:
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

Say there are 35 reasonable people aboard a Clapham omnibus. Being key workers — nurses, police, teachers and so on — frontline and not middle management (okay; not a very likely contingency and Clapham these days, but let’s say) their incomes are fairly tightly distributed around a mean of £40,000.

You are a management consultant. Your task: to increasing average pay on that bus.

Simple: just ask a tech titan to hop on board. You might have to pay him a couple of million as a signing bonus — and, sure, that’s twice the total amount the others get paid — but even if you do, you raise the average wage — their average wage — to £60 million at a stroke.

This is, of course, preposterous: the “average” is hypothetical.You don’t get paid it; no one does: it is derived, partly from your wage: if it changes, that has no effect on your Changing the average doesn’t change any particular.

See also