You have read and understood these terms: Difference between revisions

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{{pe}}It’s great isn’t it? Can you just imagine the turtle you’d be looking under to prove this one?
{{pe}}It’s great isn’t it? Can you just imagine the turtle you’d be looking under to prove this one?


:''[[Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, Q.C.]]''.: M’lud, we have conclusive evidence that the defendant knew of this disclaimer, rendered I might add in [[CAPS LOCK|FULL CAPITALS]] on page 346 of the presentation.
{{court scene|IV|i|inspects his nails in the hope of finding something for lunch|arises suddenly with a spasmodic jerk and an emission of a grey-green gas. {{cocklecarrot}} glowers}}
:''Defendant'': Oh, no I didn't.
:'''{{jerrold}}''': M’lud, we have conclusive evidence that the defendant knew of this disclaimer, rendered I might add in [[CAPS LOCK|FULL CAPITALS]] on page 346 of the presentation.
:''Lord Justice [[Cocklecarrot M.R.]]'': Didn’t you?  
:'''{{mrspinterman}}''': Oh, no I didn't.
:''Defendant''. No, sir. I didn't read it!
:'''{{cocklecarrot}}''': Didn’t you?  
:''Cocklecarrot MR'': I say! Really, Sir Jerr —
:'''Mrspinterman}}'''. No, sir. I didn’t read it!
:''Sir Jerrold'': BUT, MRS. PINTERMAN, IT SAYS HERE “[[You have read and understood these terms|YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS]]”!
:'''{{Cocklecarrot}}''': I say! Really, Sir Jerr —
:''Defendant'': Well it might do, but how should I know? I didn't read that either.
:'''{{jerrold}}''' (''beaming''): BUT, MRS. PINTERMAN, IT SAYS HERE “[[You have read and understood these terms|YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS]]”!
:'''{{mrspinterman}}''': Well it might do, but how should I know? I didn’t read that either.
:'''{{jerrold}}''' (''making a face like a landed guppy''): I ... I... I
:'''{{cocklecarrot}}''': Sir Jerrold, would you like to moment to see whether the —
:'''{{jerrold}}''': — ground will swallow me up? I would be most obliged, M’Lud.
 
''Curtain.''

Revision as of 12:53, 15 November 2019

Towards more picturesque speech™


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It’s great isn’t it? Can you just imagine the turtle you’d be looking under to prove this one?

Act IV, Scene i

A courtroom in the King’s Bench Division. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. inspects his nails in the hope of finding something for lunch. Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. arises suddenly with a spasmodic jerk and an emission of a grey-green gas. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. glowers.

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C.: M’lud, we have conclusive evidence that the defendant knew of this disclaimer, rendered I might add in FULL CAPITALS on page 346 of the presentation.
Mrs. Pinterman: Oh, no I didn't.
Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: Didn’t you?
Mrspinterman}}. No, sir. I didn’t read it!
Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: I say! Really, Sir Jerr —
Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. (beaming): BUT, MRS. PINTERMAN, IT SAYS HERE “YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS”!
Mrs. Pinterman: Well it might do, but how should I know? I didn’t read that either.
Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. (making a face like a landed guppy): I ... I... I
Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: Sir Jerrold, would you like to moment to see whether the —
Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C.: — ground will swallow me up? I would be most obliged, M’Lud.

Curtain.

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