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It’s great isn’t it? Can you just imagine the turtle you’d be looking under to prove this acknowledgement?

It hardly needs saying, but the dusty volumes of the Jolly Contrarian’s Law Reports are replete with such windy circularities.

Act IV, Scene i

A courtroom in the King’s Bench Division. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. inspects his nails in the hope of finding something for lunch. Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. arises suddenly with a spasmodic jerk and an emission of a grey-green gas. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. glowers.

Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C.: M’lud, we have conclusive evidence that the defendant knew of this disclaimer, rendered I might add in FULL CAPITALS on page 346 of the presentation.

Mrs. Pinterman: Oh, no I didn’t.

Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R.: Didn’t you?

Mrs. Pinterman. No, sir. I didn’t read it!

Cocklecarrot L.J.: I say! Really, Sir Jerr —

Sir Jerrold (beaming): BUT, MRS. PINTERMAN, IT SAYS HERE “YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THESE TERMS”!

Mrs. Pinterman: Well it might do, but how should I know? I didn’t read that either.

Sir Jerrold (making a face like a landed guppy): I ... I... I

Cocklecarrot L.J.: Sir Jerrold, would you like to moment to see whether the —

Sir Jerrold: — ground will swallow me up? I would be most obliged, M’Lud.

Curtain.

See also

• Elephants and turtles