Template:Sjs short squeeze: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit
No edit summary
 
(16 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 3: Line 3:
Unwarily I trod the [[bottom of the range|basest range]] <br>
Unwarily I trod the [[bottom of the range|basest range]] <br>
And sold there what I borrowed: <br>  
And sold there what I borrowed: <br>  
A common stock of dismal prospect. <br>
A [[tier 1 capital|common stock]] of dismal prospect. <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: A manful punt for so scant a likely gain? <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: A manful punt for so scant a likely gain? <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: Aye but, I thought, yet safe enough — <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: Aye but, I thought, yet safe enough — <br>
Line 10: Line 10:
Casts surer shade across the [[Chapter 11|purgatorial chapter]] <br>
Casts surer shade across the [[Chapter 11|purgatorial chapter]] <br>
Than e’er it might upon some distant hea’enly host. <br>
Than e’er it might upon some distant hea’enly host. <br>
The surest thing was up: its only way was down. <br>
Forsooth, the surest thing was up: its only way was down. <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Oh? Did it not turn out so? <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Oh? Did it not turn out so? <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: A [[Reddit|noisome band of amateurs]] did twist its price. <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: A [[Reddit|noisome band of amateurs]] did twist its price. <br>
Line 17: Line 17:
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: How might I wish! <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: How might I wish! <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: It went to the moon. <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: It went to the moon. <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: Th’ eternal roiling gears, as if by unseen hand <br>
Propel the market’s ebb and pop <br>
But gripp’d anew by retail flippancy <br>
The Gods lampoon’d my tightly-modelled globe <br>
And abruptly did my traded prospects drop. <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: When the [[GameStop]] stops, stop.<br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: When the [[GameStop]] stops, stop.<br>
{{script|Herculio}}: How fares thy mark-to-market now? <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: How fares thy mark-to-market now? <br>
Line 22: Line 27:
{{Script|Herculio}}: “Damp,” you say? I never heard a portfolio get wet! <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: “Damp,” you say? I never heard a portfolio get wet! <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: Yet ever’y other one is under water. <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: Yet ever’y other one is under water. <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Now I catch the drift. How far deep is down? <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Now I catch the drift. How deep is “down”? <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: More fathoms than I can fathom. <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: More fathoms than I can fathom. <br>
And now the one who wrote my swap hath taken ill, <br>
And now the one who wrote my swap hath taken ill, <br>
Line 29: Line 34:
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: His payments due to other banks <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: His payments due to other banks <br>
In sum well ’cross the starry [[Threshold Amount - ISDA Provision|Threshold]], lie in [[arrears]]. <br>
In sum well ’cross the starry [[Threshold Amount - ISDA Provision|Threshold]], lie in [[arrears]]. <br>
Sans [[Grace period|grace]] or [[composition with creditors|composition]]; absent a cleansing [[force majeure]] <br>
Sans [[Grace period|grace]] or [[composition with creditors|composition]]; absent cleansing [[force majeure]] <br>
He’s in default. I have him bang to rights.<br>
He’s in default, and bang to rights.<br>
Herein, my dilemma: Do I close my book, as is my right <br>
Herein, my dilemma: Do I close my book, as is my right <br>
And bear the funded pain of outward cashflow — <br>
And bear the funded pain of outward cashflow — <br>
Line 42: Line 47:
{{Script|Herculio}}: Canst thou not, with merry words <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: Canst thou not, with merry words <br>
Assuage this awkward detriment? <br>
Assuage this awkward detriment? <br>
A simple term, to wit: whilst man defaults <br>
A simple term, to wit: “whilst man defaults <br>
He may not seek performance? <br>
He may not seek performance”? <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: Alas, that lance doth fetch aslant <br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: Alas, that lance doth fetch aslant <br>
Upon the voiding sheen of [[Bankruptcy Code|code]].<br>  
Upon the voiding sheen of [[Insolvency Act 1986|law]].<br>  
No feint, nor jibe, nor fulsome thrust of cunning covenant <br>
No feint, nor jibe, nor fulsome thrust of cunning covenant <br>
Couldst adjourn our present debt short of its terminance<br>
Could adjourn our present debt short of its terminance<br>
Such canny phrase wouldst fall away: <br>
That canny phrase would fall away: <br>
A null, a nought, a preference rudely voided.<br>
A null, a nought, a preference rudely voided.<br>
And thus, our right demis’d. No more <br>
And thus, our right demis’d. No more <br>
Line 60: Line 65:
Who’ll hold the whole hole holy? <br>
Who’ll hold the whole hole holy? <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: Holy moly. <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: Holy moly. <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: I have a thought. This meagre tract: not ninety words <br>
{{Script|Herculio}}: See here: this meagre tract: not ninety words <br>
Wrapp’d about with preliminal nicety and <br>
Wrapp’d about with preliminal nicety and <br>
Stamp’d as for affixation to a [[boilerplate|servic’d boiler]] —<br>
Stamp’d as for affixation to a [[boilerplate|servic’d boiler]] —<br>
Conceals a clever trick. <br>
Conceals a clever trick. <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: What kind of onion’d witchery is this? <br>  
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: What kind of onion’d witchery is this? <br>  
{{Script|Nuncle}}: He who’d trick an Assignee with bare unfreighted terms <br>
{{Script|Nuncle}}: Who soaps an [[assignee]] with unfreighted tropes of conjury<br>
Might miss a trick upon his own examinership? <br>
Tricks only his frail self-examinership.<br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Hear me, though: this rider taps a deeper art<br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Hear me, though. This [[rider]] taps a stranger science <br>
Than the sequestrator’s astrology. <br>
Than thy [[sequestrator]]’s [[Insolvency Act 1986|astrology]]. <br>
Should constellations, ill-aligned, by morbid glint <br>
Should constellations, ill-aligned, by morbid glint <br>
Throw misadventure on a side — call him, “A”  <br>
Throw misadventure upon one side — call him, “A”  <br>
Whilst the other — that one, “B” — by present value judg’d <br>
Whilst upon the other — that one, “B” — by [[present value]] judg’d <br>
Beholds a box of bets as long of extant tenor as they are short of current wisdom.<br>
Calumny befalls his pretty [[mark-to-market|box of bets]] — <br>
Thus poor Party B confronts a cleffèd stick: <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: As long in extant tenor as they are short of market nous.<br>
Pay to close now, and fund in full that bishèd guess <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Thus poor Party B confronts a cleffèd stick: <br>
Or stay to play, and in the meantime pay <br>
Close-out apace, but fund afull his bishèd speculation — <br>
With dim hope of reciprocation? <br>
Or stay in play, pray the stars parlay his losing stake<br>
Since to suspend is, ''ipso facto'', to deprive, I shalt not do that  <br>
But meantime pay away what’s due sans hope of reciprocation? <br>
{{script|Ser Jaramey}}: No more or less, Herculio: that is my dilemma.<br>
{{script|Herculio}}: Then this nifty [[rider]] sees you right. <br>
It purporteth not suspension <br>
Nor egregious snatch of weakling rights — <br>
Nor any term alike that’s imperilled by a bust.<br>
The charmèd scheme is this: <br>
A payment “stopped” did not but start: <br>
’Twas ne’er there to set aside. <br>
{{script|Nuncle}}: Salt tears, o’er un-spilt milk, are seldom cried. <br>
{{script|Herculio}}: One cannot abrogate that which, <br>
By careful shape of [[condition precedent|precedent]], was never yet applied.<br>
{{Script|Nuncle}}: Less an asset flawed than an assetted flaw.<br>
{{Script|Ser Jaramey}}: But where’s the thread <br>
By which this cunning trap is sprung? <br>
{{Script|Nuncle}}: Aye, there’s the jape. The tripwire lies unstrung.<br>

Latest revision as of 18:27, 20 May 2024

Herculio: How now, Ser Jez: how fares thy short?
Ser Jaramey: Squeezèd.
Unwarily I trod the basest range
And sold there what I borrowed:
A common stock of dismal prospect.
Herculio: A manful punt for so scant a likely gain?
Ser Jaramey: Aye but, I thought, yet safe enough —
That laggard scrip, housed around in bricks and mortar,
Whose hawkery of pre-loved flickish playthings
Casts surer shade across the purgatorial chapter
Than e’er it might upon some distant hea’enly host.
Forsooth, the surest thing was up: its only way was down.
Herculio: Oh? Did it not turn out so?
Ser Jaramey: A noisome band of amateurs did twist its price.
That vapid instrument prescribed a path most inopportune.
Herculio: A sideways move perchance?
Ser Jaramey: How might I wish!
Nuncle: It went to the moon.
Ser Jaramey: Th’ eternal roiling gears, as if by unseen hand
Propel the market’s ebb and pop
But gripp’d anew by retail flippancy
The Gods lampoon’d my tightly-modelled globe
And abruptly did my traded prospects drop.
Nuncle: When the GameStop stops, stop.
Herculio: How fares thy mark-to-market now?
Ser Jaramey: Sadly low, and presently moist, or damp —
Herculio: “Damp,” you say? I never heard a portfolio get wet!
Nuncle: Yet ever’y other one is under water.
Herculio: Now I catch the drift. How deep is “down”?
Ser Jaramey: More fathoms than I can fathom.
And now the one who wrote my swap hath taken ill,
Though he be to the good and I be in the hole.
Herculio: Ill? What malady afflicts a man so thickly profited?
Ser Jaramey: His payments due to other banks
In sum well ’cross the starry Threshold, lie in arrears.
Sans grace or composition; absent cleansing force majeure
He’s in default, and bang to rights.
Herein, my dilemma: Do I close my book, as is my right
And bear the funded pain of outward cashflow —
Or hold my peace, keep powder dry and stay the course
To expiry in earnest hope that, ’twixt now and then
Vicissitude should salt away my losing marks?
The latter course, of course, appeals, save this:
I, by lights of our compact, must pay what is confirm’d
While my oppugnant customer — the very one in breach
Revels in churlish delinquency. It feels unjust.
Herculio: Canst thou not, with merry words
Assuage this awkward detriment?
A simple term, to wit: “whilst man defaults
He may not seek performance”?
Ser Jaramey: Alas, that lance doth fetch aslant
Upon the voiding sheen of law.
No feint, nor jibe, nor fulsome thrust of cunning covenant
Could adjourn our present debt short of its terminance
That canny phrase would fall away:
A null, a nought, a preference rudely voided.
And thus, our right demis’d. No more
Than had we ne’er inked it in the first place.
Nuncle: Hold that thought. There’s something in ’t yet.
Empty is as empty does, Sirrah. One cannot pick an empty pocket.
What rights a man hath never had cannot be stole.
Ser Jaramey: ’Tis an empty supposition, Fool.
Mere riddles cannot make us whole.
Nuncle: Hold on: if wholly the whole’s a hole
Who’ll hold the whole hole holy?
Ser Jaramey: Holy moly.
Herculio: See here: this meagre tract: not ninety words
Wrapp’d about with preliminal nicety and
Stamp’d as for affixation to a servic’d boiler
Conceals a clever trick.
Ser Jaramey: What kind of onion’d witchery is this?
Nuncle: Who soaps an assignee with unfreighted tropes of conjury
Tricks only his frail self-examinership.
Herculio: Hear me, though. This rider taps a stranger science
Than thy sequestrator’s astrology.
Should constellations, ill-aligned, by morbid glint
Throw misadventure upon one side — call him, “A”
Whilst upon the other — that one, “B” — by present value judg’d
Calumny befalls his pretty box of bets
Nuncle: As long in extant tenor as they are short of market nous.
Herculio: Thus poor Party B confronts a cleffèd stick:
Close-out apace, but fund afull his bishèd speculation —
Or stay in play, pray the stars parlay his losing stake
But meantime pay away what’s due sans hope of reciprocation?
Ser Jaramey: No more or less, Herculio: that is my dilemma.
Herculio: Then this nifty rider sees you right.
It purporteth not suspension
Nor egregious snatch of weakling rights —
Nor any term alike that’s imperilled by a bust.
The charmèd scheme is this:
A payment “stopped” did not but start:
’Twas ne’er there to set aside.
Nuncle: Salt tears, o’er un-spilt milk, are seldom cried.
Herculio: One cannot abrogate that which,
By careful shape of precedent, was never yet applied.
Nuncle: Less an asset flawed than an assetted flaw.
Ser Jaramey: But where’s the thread
By which this cunning trap is sprung?
Nuncle: Aye, there’s the jape. The tripwire lies unstrung.