Internal audit: Difference between revisions

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Created page with "Those people who rigorously assess your compliance with measurable quantitative criteria, because it has no means whatsoever to assess anything else. Therefore you run the ri..."
 
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Those people who rigorously assess your compliance with measurable quantitative criteria, because it has no means whatsoever to assess anything else.
Men and women who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.  


Therefore you run the risk of instant dismissal for failing to complete your [[computer based training]] by the stipulated deadline, no matter how bone-headed or asinine that training may be (because internal audit can't assess whether you understand the trailing, or even need it: only that you've done it.
Those people who rigorously assess your [[compliance]] with measurable quantitative criteria because — not being [[subject matter expert]]s — they have no means of assessing anything else.
 
Your commitment to review a template [[confidentiality agreement]] each calendar year will attract internal audit''’s attention, your failure to do so its censure, whether or not anyone actually used that template, much less whether there was anything wrong with it.
 
By contrast, your total incompetence when negotiating a critical indemnity will fly leagues over their heads. Because [[internal audit]] wouldn't have the first clue what [[gross negligence]] even is, let alone what amounts to it, much less how one would recognise an indemnity if one happened across one, whether [[carve out|carved out]] or not.
 
An employee risks instant dismissal for not completing all [[computer based training]] on time, no matter how ineffectual or asinine that training may be.
 
{{dramatis personae}}
 
{{egg}}

Revision as of 13:39, 21 May 2018

Men and women who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.

Those people who rigorously assess your compliance with measurable quantitative criteria because — not being subject matter experts — they have no means of assessing anything else.

Your commitment to review a template confidentiality agreement each calendar year will attract internal audit’s attention, your failure to do so its censure, whether or not anyone actually used that template, much less whether there was anything wrong with it.

By contrast, your total incompetence when negotiating a critical indemnity will fly leagues over their heads. Because internal audit wouldn't have the first clue what gross negligence even is, let alone what amounts to it, much less how one would recognise an indemnity if one happened across one, whether carved out or not.

An employee risks instant dismissal for not completing all computer based training on time, no matter how ineffectual or asinine that training may be.

Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |