Second law of worker entropy

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Confusion entropy /kənˈfjuːʒ(ə)n ˈɛntrəpi/ (n.)
The background level of misunderstanding and resentment which comes as a by-product of modern corporate discourse. Different types of activity generate more or less of this kind of entropy. Conference calls — especially all-hands conference calls — generate dangerously high levels. Add financial reporting folk seeking legal opinions on matters of balance sheet treatment, allow tax lawyers to converse directly with anyone else on any topic in which they have an interest and infinite bafflement is assured.

The JC’s second law of worker entropy: The latent confusion entropy in a complex system increases geometrically with the size of that system. Once a system, or organisation, is over a certain size, its resting-state confusion and implicit mediocrity quotient will fall out of stable equilibrium, eventually leading to the implosion of the organisation or, if it is big enough, boredom heat death of the universe itself.

Confusion entropy can be cured with alcohol, but there is a curious paradox, as overdoing the sauce (which, on a conference call, can be tremendously tempting) can itself lead to total collapse through the inebriation event horizon into a black hole of soul-crushing despair.

So it’s either crushing your soul into an infinitesimal point of space-time, or regressing to a sunless, tepid expanse having, in every direction except the one you want to go in, an infinite extension of ennui.

See also

• Laws of worker entropy
• Schwarzschild radius of alcohol consumption