Shall: Difference between revisions
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A verb that seems so safe — so forensic — fusty, old-fashioned, stolid, goodie-two-shoes — but yet so tantalisingly ''vague''. | A verb that seems so safe — so forensic — fusty, old-fashioned, stolid, goodie-two-shoes — but yet so tantalisingly ''vague''. | ||
Vague in that “shall” can be an airily floated aspiration | Vague in that “shall” can be an airily floated aspiration for the future — “I say,” said Jenkins, absent-mindedly knocking out his pipe on a passing child’s head, “I do believe I shall go to the theatre tonight!” — but just as easily can be a stentorian direction to an underling to carry out a binding duty: “You ''shall'' do the dishes, young lady, and you shall do them ''NOW''”. | ||
[[Mediocre lawyer|Lawyers]] like the latter formulation, a lot, and spray it around as if they're standing behind a Gatling gun loaded with [[shall]]s<ref>Thank-you, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a hat going round.</ref>. But here's the problem | [[Mediocre lawyer|Lawyers]] like the latter formulation, a lot, and spray it around as if they're standing behind a Gatling gun loaded with [[shall]]s<ref>Thank-you, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a hat going round.</ref>. But here's the problem: conjugation. | ||
{{tabletop}} | {{tabletop}} | ||
Revision as of 17:49, 11 January 2017
A verb that seems so safe — so forensic — fusty, old-fashioned, stolid, goodie-two-shoes — but yet so tantalisingly vague.
Vague in that “shall” can be an airily floated aspiration for the future — “I say,” said Jenkins, absent-mindedly knocking out his pipe on a passing child’s head, “I do believe I shall go to the theatre tonight!” — but just as easily can be a stentorian direction to an underling to carry out a binding duty: “You shall do the dishes, young lady, and you shall do them NOW”.
Lawyers like the latter formulation, a lot, and spray it around as if they're standing behind a Gatling gun loaded with shalls[1]. But here's the problem: conjugation.
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Airily floated future aspiration |
Stentorian command |
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If, in other words, you’re going to be a dick about it, then you have to be careful which you mean, especially if you are one of these new age folk who like to write contracts in the first and second person. There again, if you’re one of those you’re most likely not to be using shall in the first place, because must or will will do, and they won’t make you sound like quite such an egg. Plain English Anatomy™ Noun | Verb | Adjective | Adverb | Preposition | Conjunction | Latin | Germany | Flannel | Legal triplicate | Nominalisation | Murder your darlings
References
- ↑ Thank-you, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a hat going round.