Head of the documentation unit: Difference between revisions
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See also the [[Northern Ireland portfolio]] in the nineteen seventies. | See also the [[Northern Ireland portfolio]] in the nineteen seventies. | ||
One of the accursed people in an Investment Bank, the head of the | One of the accursed people in an Investment Bank, the head of the documentation unit — those sainted individuals responsible for making flesh the wishes of the [[credit]] department — is only in the role to atone for a sin (possibly one committed in a former life), or as act of spite, vengeance or perverse cruelty from someone else further up the organisation. | ||
Running the negotiators is an utterly thankless role, one totally bereft of thanks, which - because of its cost, heft, and inevitable negative impact on the franchise, is irresistible fodder for [[change manager|change managers]], [[management consultant|management consultants]], and people who think a “[[chief operating officer]]” is a fine thing to aspire to, to fiddle with. Which means any well-meaning attempts you make to fix things are bound to fail, and fail in a way that is inextribably tied to you. | Running the negotiators is an utterly thankless role, one totally bereft of thanks, which - because of its cost, heft, and inevitable negative impact on the franchise, is irresistible fodder for [[change manager|change managers]], [[management consultant|management consultants]], and people who think a “[[chief operating officer]]” is a fine thing to aspire to, to fiddle with. Which means any well-meaning attempts you make to fix things are bound to fail, and fail in a way that is inextribably tied to you. | ||
Revision as of 14:23, 24 April 2017
See also the Northern Ireland portfolio in the nineteen seventies.
One of the accursed people in an Investment Bank, the head of the documentation unit — those sainted individuals responsible for making flesh the wishes of the credit department — is only in the role to atone for a sin (possibly one committed in a former life), or as act of spite, vengeance or perverse cruelty from someone else further up the organisation.
Running the negotiators is an utterly thankless role, one totally bereft of thanks, which - because of its cost, heft, and inevitable negative impact on the franchise, is irresistible fodder for change managers, management consultants, and people who think a “chief operating officer” is a fine thing to aspire to, to fiddle with. Which means any well-meaning attempts you make to fix things are bound to fail, and fail in a way that is inextribably tied to you.
Because this is what the doc unit means:
- To sales: WHERE'S MY GODDAMN ISDA?
- To the chief operating officer: Why does this cost so much and who the hell are all these people?
- To the general counsel: A PAIN IN THE ARSE.
- To a change manager: OFFSHORE THAT SUCKER TO INDIA!
In an investment bank, being a place of universal grasping fixation on advancement, it isn't hard to find a stooge to take the role: all you have to do is present it as a stretch assignment; an opportunity for advancement: managing three hundred people, in six centres across seven time zones, with a chance to overhaul and rock the house on a franchise-critical operational function. Who would not leap at that?
A person with a cautious or reflective nature. That's who.
Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |