Shall
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Towards more picturesque speech™
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A verb that seems so safe — so forensic — fusty, old-fashioned, stolid, goodie-two-shoes — but yet so tantalisingly vague.
Vague in that “shall” can be an airily floated aspiration for the future — “I say,” said Jenkins, absent-mindedly knocking out his pipe on a passing child’s head, “I do believe I shall go to the theatre tonight!” — but just as easily can be a stentorian direction to an underling to carry out a binding duty: “You shall do the dishes, young lady, and you shall do them NOW”.[1]
Lawyers like the latter formulation, a lot, and spray it around as if they're standing behind a Gatling gun loaded with shalls[2]. But here's the problem: conjugation. A wilful shall to me is a stentorian one to you, and vice versa[3]. You can’t just spray your shalls and wills around around willy-nilly.
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Airily floated future aspiration |
Stentorian command |
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If, in other words, you’re going to be a dick about it, then you have to be careful which you mean, especially if you are one of these new age folk who like to write contracts in the first and second person. There again, if you’re one of those, you’re not likely to be using any kind of shall in the first place, because “must” will do, and it won’t make you sound like quite such an egg.
References
- ↑ Real life example.
- ↑ Thank-you, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a hat going round.
- ↑ Authority no less impressive than the Oxford English Dictionary:“The traditional rule is that shall is used with first person pronouns (i.e. I and we) to form the future tense, while will is used with second and third person forms (i.e. you, he, she, it, they). [...] However, when it comes to expressing a strong determination to do something, the roles are reversed: will is used with the first person, and shall with the second and third.”