Libtard
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“I hate conservatives but I really fucking hate liberals”.
- —Matt Stone
Libtard
/ˈlɪbtɑːd/ ~ portmanteau of “liberal” and “retard” (n.)
An excellent name for we paid-up members of the metropolitan liberal elite — and if you are reading this, I’m afraid that most certainly means you, dear friend, for we — yes, it includes the JC too —who have truck with the world of financial services are, by self-identification, libtards[1] — because those most discomfited by the label are those who most deserve it, tweaking as it perfectly does every righteous, passive aggressive nerve in their right-minded psyche.
And before you ask — for the avoidance of doubt, should the first person plural above have not been enough to get you across the line — yes, the JC suppose he probably is a libtard.
As he was mowing his small patch of communally-owned, non-capitalist-means-of-production land this morning (with a hand-held sickle and a hammer, naturally) it occurred to the old goat that there might be a distinction between normal liberals and “libtards”, which might release him from that stigma: Libtards are liberals because they think they do know what’s best for everyone else. Normal liberals are liberals because they are pretty sure they don’t.
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- ↑ The honourable exemption being our good friends in in the Nashville negotiation community, and then only because if they admit to being libtards they’re liable to get shot at.