Email disclaimer: Difference between revisions

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{{g}}A window into the soul of your correspondent (or, where harnessed to the [[great steampunk machine]] of a multinational corporation, that entity’s blackened soul). It can be long, or short; sombre or witty; comprehensive or general, but it will be there: the [[email disclaimer]]: an extract of text, appended to every outbound communication, canvassing any [[one or more]] of the following subjects:
{{g}}A window into the soul of your correspondent (or, where harnessed to the [[great steampunk machine]] of a multinational corporation, that entity’s blackened soul). It can be long, or short; sombre or witty; comprehensive or general, but it will be there: the [[email disclaimer]]: an extract of text, appended to every outbound communication, canvassing any [[one or more]] of the following subjects:
*Its [[confidentiality]]
===What it is===
*Its [[copyright]]
*Its [[confidentiality]] — it won’t be: you don’t protect confidences by randomly emailing them to people;
*Its [[copyright]] — it might be, but the value is likely nil: the world is awash with emails just like yours;
*Its [[privilege]] (despite its protestations, misdirected emails will rarely be legally privileged)
*Its [[privilege]] (despite its protestations, misdirected emails will rarely be legally privileged)
*Its potential inaccuracy
*Its potential inaccuracy — a cute counterpoint to its value as intellectual property: “it is copyright, but probably bullshit anyway”;
*Its epidemiological virulence;
*Its epidemiological virulence;
*The receiver’s moral duty to destroy it if sent in error.
*The receiver’s moral — but (Law of Contracts 101 check: ''not'' legal) duty to destroy it if sent in error.
It will also wax lengthily about what it is ''not'': a subject, of course, on which any [[lawyer]] can joyfully extemporise for as long as there are cattle still out on manoeuvres:  
===What it is not===
*Professional advice;
A fulsome [[email disclaimer]] will also wax lengthily about what it is ''not'': a subject, of course, on which any [[lawyer]] can joyfully extemporise for as long as there are cattle still out on manoeuvres:  
*An offer or solicitation of an offer — and IN ANY CASE NOT TO [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]];
*It is not professional advice (as if that won’t be dolefully apparent on its face)
*A recommendation to do anything or not do anything (Stop and think about this juicy [[double negative]] for a while: “We are ''not'' telling you ''not'' to do anything”.)
*Nor is it an offer or solicitation of an offer — and IN ANY CASE NOT TO [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]];
*Nor a recommendation to do anything or not do anything (Stop and think about this juicy [[double negative]] for a while: “We are ''not'' telling you ''not'' to do anything”.) And what kind of person acts instinctively on as recommendation from an email anyway? (Don’t answer that: it is most of you.)


All of this served up in the certain knowledge no person having enough adult literacy to comprehend an email disclaimer would — or even could — be dim-witted or bored enough to ever read it, much less care about what it says.  
All of this served up in the certain knowledge no person having enough adult literacy to comprehend an [[email disclaimer]] would — or even ''could'' — be dim-witted or bored enough to read it, much less care about what it says.  


Which begs the question: what do we think we are achieving with an [[email disclaimer]]? Which part of [[Chicken-licken|the sky would fall upon our heads]] were it not there?
Which begs the question: what do we think we are achieving with an [[email disclaimer]]? Which part of [[Chicken-licken|the sky would fall upon our heads]] were it not there?
{{sa}}
*[[This email and its contents are confidential and may be privileged]]
{{draft}}
{{draft}}
{{egg}}
{{egg}}

Revision as of 11:19, 20 May 2020

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
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A window into the soul of your correspondent (or, where harnessed to the great steampunk machine of a multinational corporation, that entity’s blackened soul). It can be long, or short; sombre or witty; comprehensive or general, but it will be there: the email disclaimer: an extract of text, appended to every outbound communication, canvassing any one or more of the following subjects:

What it is

  • Its confidentiality — it won’t be: you don’t protect confidences by randomly emailing them to people;
  • Its copyright — it might be, but the value is likely nil: the world is awash with emails just like yours;
  • Its privilege (despite its protestations, misdirected emails will rarely be legally privileged)
  • Its potential inaccuracy — a cute counterpoint to its value as intellectual property: “it is copyright, but probably bullshit anyway”;
  • Its epidemiological virulence;
  • The receiver’s moral — but (Law of Contracts 101 check: not legal) duty to destroy it if sent in error.

What it is not

A fulsome email disclaimer will also wax lengthily about what it is not: a subject, of course, on which any lawyer can joyfully extemporise for as long as there are cattle still out on manoeuvres:

  • It is not professional advice (as if that won’t be dolefully apparent on its face)
  • Nor is it an offer or solicitation of an offer — and IN ANY CASE NOT TO RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE;
  • Nor a recommendation to do anything or not do anything (Stop and think about this juicy double negative for a while: “We are not telling you not to do anything”.) And what kind of person acts instinctively on as recommendation from an email anyway? (Don’t answer that: it is most of you.)

All of this served up in the certain knowledge no person having enough adult literacy to comprehend an email disclaimer would — or even could — be dim-witted or bored enough to read it, much less care about what it says.

Which begs the question: what do we think we are achieving with an email disclaimer? Which part of the sky would fall upon our heads were it not there?

See also