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{{a|devil|<youtube>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6CLumsir34</youtube>}}{{d|Hive mind|/haɪv/ /maɪnd/|n|}}
{{a|devil|<youtube>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6CLumsir34</youtube>}}{{d|Hive mind|/haɪv/ /maɪnd/|n|}}


The theory of [[consciousness]] that asserts that a new personality [[Emergence|emerges]] from the networked personalities of those in the organisation. Evidence, too, of the non-zero sum game that multinational organisations play, for somehow they generate the cashflow to pay the absurd salaries their employees demand without it ever being apparent quite what any one of those employees does to deserve it.
The theory of [[consciousness]] that asserts that a new personality [[Emergence|emerges]] from the networked personalities of those in the organisation. Evidence, too, of the [[Zero-sum game|non-zero sum game]] that multinational organisations play, for somehow they persistently generate the cashflow to pay the absurd salaries their employees demand without it ever being apparent quite what any one of those employees does to deserve it. If a multinational is a goose, then its roster of employees would be the messy, pungent mix of bloodied feathers and viscera left when the farmer has cut it open in search of a golden egg.


So, for example, the idea of displaying, in foot-high letters, “WINNING MINDSET” over the entrance to the ground floor lift lobby by way of clumsy neuro-linguistic programming of your worker-bees as they roll up for their daily toil is not a decision traceable to any particular individual (this is not to say that a single individual could not be so brazenly stupid, but that such a person wouldn’t admit to it without at least the diffusionary butt-covering afforded by the [[circle of escalation]]).
So, for example, the idea of displaying, in foot-high letters, “WINNING MINDSET” over the entrance to the ground floor lift lobby by way of clumsy neuro-linguistic programming of your worker-bees as they roll up for their daily toil is not a decision traceable to any particular individual (this is not to say that a single individual could not be so brazenly stupid, but that such a person wouldn’t ''admit'' to it without at least the diffusionary butt-covering afforded by the [[circle of escalation]]).


Rather, this springs fully formed out of the higher consciousness of the [[hive mind]].
Rather, this springs fully formed out of the higher consciousness of the [[hive mind]].

Revision as of 14:38, 25 June 2021

In which the curmudgeonly old sod puts the world to rights.
Index — Click ᐅ to expand:

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Hive mind
/haɪv/ /maɪnd/ (n.)

The theory of consciousness that asserts that a new personality emerges from the networked personalities of those in the organisation. Evidence, too, of the non-zero sum game that multinational organisations play, for somehow they persistently generate the cashflow to pay the absurd salaries their employees demand without it ever being apparent quite what any one of those employees does to deserve it. If a multinational is a goose, then its roster of employees would be the messy, pungent mix of bloodied feathers and viscera left when the farmer has cut it open in search of a golden egg.

So, for example, the idea of displaying, in foot-high letters, “WINNING MINDSET” over the entrance to the ground floor lift lobby by way of clumsy neuro-linguistic programming of your worker-bees as they roll up for their daily toil is not a decision traceable to any particular individual (this is not to say that a single individual could not be so brazenly stupid, but that such a person wouldn’t admit to it without at least the diffusionary butt-covering afforded by the circle of escalation).

Rather, this springs fully formed out of the higher consciousness of the hive mind.

The exploding whale

Umenhofer’s whale-flattened Regency 98

Or, for a more distant example, take the celebrated exploding whale of Lane County, Oregon, from 1970. See the entertaining news report in the panel, which covers the event since well before it happened.

What is most amazing here is not that onlookers, held behind barriers a quarter of a mile away, had to run for their lives while brick-sized lumps of stinking, fetid, whale flesh rained down on them from from the sky, but that no-one — not the highways authority, not the project manager, not the forklift driver, not the reporter, not the film crew, not the gelignite vendor, not the hundreds and hundreds of spectators — not a single one of them asked that most basic of questions: “you are proposing to detonate a rotting sperm whale with half a ton of dynamite. Have you completely lost your mind?”

Actually, one man had, and this is where the irony gets positively Homeric. A certain Walter Umenhofer, a military veteran with explosives training who happened to be in the area to take advantage of a “Get a Whale of a Deal!” promotion in a nearby car dealership, warned anyone who would listen that half a ton of dynamite was far too much. Umenhofer suggested 4 kg would be enough. His advice went unheeded.

Miraculously no-one was hurt during the blast.

There was just one casualty: a brand new Oldsmobile Regency 98, flattened by a hunk of blubber the size of a truck tyre. It was Umenhofer’s brand new car. A whale of a deal, indeed.

See also