I’m not going to die in a ditch about it

From The Jolly Contrarian
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The pragmatist’s lament, the main reason there is so much flannel in legal contracts, and the intellectual stance from which grows the anal paradox.

For you are busy, you need to get out the door because it’s your anniversary, or you are keen to enjoy the work-life balance your employer keeps going on about, and the last round of comments include asking you to remove the bold from a full stop[1], or the single insertion: “unless the parties otherwise agree”.

You know this is pedantic, borderline legally illiterate, but it does no harm, and any adversarial conversation with this fellow is likely to end in harsh words or even violence, so you demur.

And in the morning, a new mark-up has arrived, with a plague of unless the parties agree otherwise insertions settling like locusts on your elegant prose.

Plain English Anatomy™ Noun | Verb | Adjective | Adverb | Preposition | Conjunction | Latin | Germany | Flannel | Legal triplicate | Nominalisation | Murder your darlings

References

  1. True Story. A gentleman from in-house team at Credit Suisse once marked up a pricing supplement, which I had sent him by fax, in this way. At 2 in the morning. Twist: THE FULL STOP WASN’T BOLD. It was a artefact from the low resolution of the fax machine.