Legal eagle

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A legal eagle yesterday

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Legal Eagles of the European Peninsula: German: rechtsadler; Italian aquila legale; French aigle juridique; Spanish águila legal

Despite its name, the legal eagle, genus lingebant ulcera pullum, is a flightless member of the chicken family. It is mainly harmless and lays nice nest-eggs. Legal eagles can breed in captivity — as a matter of fact that’s often the only way they can breed, in glorified coops called “law firms” — and if released in the wild can, with appropriate camouflage, make do among the grassy banks and hedgefundrows.

The name originated as a well-meant but still faintly derogatory way to address the personnel from the legal department, used by junior salespeople in the sincere but mistaken belief it would ward off, and not compound, the resentment that department has for them. All the more so when uttered by a newly-migrated structurer who, a few short days ago, worked, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and was himself a beloved member of the legal team.[1]

For example:

“Hi Legal Eagles!!
Can you turn around this tsht for me by COB?
Thx.”

As a badge of honour

Eagle Squad insignia

There is no better way of dealing with a slight than owning it and taking pride in it, and that is what proud legal eagles have since done. Hence, now, the eagle squad — a crack paramilitary group of commando lawyers for whom no assignment is too trivial tricky. Soon to be serialised into The New Adventures of Opco Boone, Legal Ace, featuring Eagle Squadron Commander Obadiah Cody “Opco” Boone, LL.B, Legal Ace, by that perennially underwhelming prose stylist, Hunter Barkley.


See also

References

  1. You could continue to wax Wilfred Owenesque for young sir will, with horrifying speed, find himself quite unbelovèd by his alma mater. Those who remain will regard him with the same fondness surviving members of MI6 — the ones who weren’t betrayed and murdered by a filthy double-crosser — have for Kim Philby. Their humour will not be improved by being addressed as “legal eagles”.