Second law of worker entropy: Difference between revisions

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Different types of activity generate more or less of this kind of entropy. [[Conference call]]s — especially [[all-hands conference call]]s — generate dangerously high levels.  Add financial reporting folk seeking legal opinions on matters of [[balance sheet]] treatment, allow [[tax lawyer|tax lawyers]] to converse directly with anyone else on this topic and [[infinite bafflement]] is assured.
Different types of activity generate more or less of this kind of entropy. [[Conference call]]s — especially [[all-hands conference call]]s — generate dangerously high levels.  Add financial reporting folk seeking legal opinions on matters of [[balance sheet]] treatment, allow [[tax lawyer|tax lawyers]] to converse directly with anyone else on this topic and [[infinite bafflement]] is assured.


The [[Jolly Contrarian]]’s [[second law of worker entropy]] states that [[confusion entropy]] will eventually lead to the [[boredom heat death]] of the universe. There is no  formula for when or where this might happen because at that moment the [[Jolly Contrarian]] was trying to make one up</ref>You do realise everything on this wiki is just made up on the spot, don’t you?</ref>He was ambushed with an ambiguous request for [[KPI]]s by an officious [[management consultant]]. He pretended to be having [[Skype trouble]] but lost his train of thought and never quite recovered it. Story of his life, really.
The [[Jolly Contrarian]]’s [[second law of worker entropy]] states that [[confusion entropy]] will eventually lead to the [[boredom heat death]] of the universe. There is no  formula for when or where this might happen because at that moment the [[Jolly Contrarian]] was trying to make one up<ref>You do realise everything on this wiki is just made up on the spot, don’t you?</ref>He was ambushed with an ambiguous request for [[KPI]]s by an officious [[management consultant]]. He pretended to be having [[Skype trouble]] but lost his train of thought and never quite recovered it. Story of his life, really.


[[Confusion entropy]] can be cured with [[Schwarzschild radius of alcohol consumption|alcohol]], but there is a curious [[paradox]], as overdoing the sauce (which, on a [[conference call]], can be tremendously tempting) can itself lead to total collapse through the [[inebriation event horizon]] into a black hole of soul-crushing despair.
[[Confusion entropy]] can be cured with [[Schwarzschild radius of alcohol consumption|alcohol]], but there is a curious [[paradox]], as overdoing the sauce (which, on a [[conference call]], can be tremendously tempting) can itself lead to total collapse through the [[inebriation event horizon]] into a black hole of soul-crushing despair.

Revision as of 15:21, 5 July 2019

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™


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Conference Call Anatomy™


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Conference calls

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Confusion entropy is the background level of misunderstanding and resentment which comes as a by-product of modern corporate discourse.

Different types of activity generate more or less of this kind of entropy. Conference calls — especially all-hands conference calls — generate dangerously high levels. Add financial reporting folk seeking legal opinions on matters of balance sheet treatment, allow tax lawyers to converse directly with anyone else on this topic and infinite bafflement is assured.

The Jolly Contrarian’s second law of worker entropy states that confusion entropy will eventually lead to the boredom heat death of the universe. There is no formula for when or where this might happen because at that moment the Jolly Contrarian was trying to make one up[1]He was ambushed with an ambiguous request for KPIs by an officious management consultant. He pretended to be having Skype trouble but lost his train of thought and never quite recovered it. Story of his life, really.

Confusion entropy can be cured with alcohol, but there is a curious paradox, as overdoing the sauce (which, on a conference call, can be tremendously tempting) can itself lead to total collapse through the inebriation event horizon into a black hole of soul-crushing despair.

So it’s either crushing your soul into an infinitesimal point of space-time, or regressing to a sunless, tepid expanse having, in every direction except the one you want to go in, an infinite extension of ennui.

See also

References

  1. ↑ You do realise everything on this wiki is just made up on the spot, don’t you?
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