Middle management blues: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 17:59, 28 November 2020

The Jolly Contrarian’s Songbook™
For those spontaneous campfire moments.

From the well-thumbed pages of the Jolly Contrarian’s songbook Index: Click ᐅ to expand: Jolly Contrarian’s songbook

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With apologies to W. H. Auden^[1].

Stop all the key performance indicators, cut off the Skype^®
Stall internal audit with a load of old tripe,
Silence the subject matter experts, and with animated deck
Bring out the target operating model,
That stakeholders will wreck.

Let escalations circle, rise and then dip
Scribble on the sky “can you run it by Chip?”
Put service level agreements round the service line’s necks,
Let the chief operating officer wear flannelene kecks.

You are my steerco and opco, my SOX audit pass,
My CBT, my CPD (where I’m best in the class)
My deep dive, disclaimer, my eye-ess-dee-aye;
They said the call would take minutes: It lasted all day.

Please be advised that they’ve outsourced the fun,
Right-sized the moon —
Disintermediated the sun.
They’ve circled their wagons and reached around the group;
For our direction of travel is a Mobius loop.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-#redirect[[Middle manager]]
+{{Songbook|}}
+''With apologies to W. H. Auden''<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_Blues Funeral Blues]</ref>.
+Stop all the [[key performance indicator]]s, cut off the [[Skype]]<sup>®</sup> <br>
+Stall [[internal audit]] with a load of old tripe,<br>
+Silence the [[subject matter expert]]s, and with animated [[deck]]<br>
+Bring out the [[target operating model]], <br>
+That [[stakeholder]]s will wreck.<br>
+Let [[escalation]]s circle, [[Circle of escalation|rise]] and then dip <br>
+Scribble on the sky “can you run it by [[Chip]]?”<br>
+Put [[service level agreement]]s round the [[service line]]’s necks,<br>
+Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br>
+You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[SOX]] audit pass, <br>
+My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] (where I’m [[Best in class|best in the class]])<br>
+My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br>
+They said the [[conference call|call]] would take minutes:
+It lasted all day.<br>
+[[Please be advised]]  that they’ve [[Outsourcing|outsourced]] the fun,<br>
+[[Right-sizing|Right-sized]] the moon — <br>
+Disintermediated the sun.<br>
+They’ve [[circle the wagons|circled their wagons]] and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br>
+For our [[direction of travel]] is a [[Mobius loop]].<br>
+{{c|Peotry}}
+{{ref}}