Middle management blues: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older edit
VisualWikitext
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(21 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
Stop all the [[key performance indicator]]s, cut off the skype,
{{Songbook|}}
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the [[subject matter expert]]s and with animated [[Powerpoint]]
Bring out the [[target operating model]], let the [[stakeholders]] come.


Let [[escalation]]s circle, moaning overhead
''With apologies to W. H. Auden''<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_Blues Funeral Blues]</ref>.
Scribbling on the sky the message 'Can you run it by [[Chip]]'.
Put [[service level agreement]]s round the necks of the [[service line]],
Let the [[chief operating officer]]s wear black cotton [[flannel]]


You are my [[conference call]], my gantt chart, my [[steerco]] and [[opco]],
Stop all the [[key performance indicator]]s, cut off the [[Skype]]<sup>®</sup> <br>
My [[cbt]] and my [[Best in class|in-class best]],
Stall [[internal audit]] with a load of old tripe,<br>
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
Silence the [[subject matter expert]]s, and with animated [[deck]]<br>
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
Bring out the [[target operating model]], <br>
That [[stakeholder]]s will wreck.<br>


The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Let [[escalation]]s circle, [[Circle of escalation|rise]] and then dip <br>
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Scribble on the sky “can you run it by [[Chip]]?”<br>
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
Put [[service level agreement]]s round the [[service line]]’s necks,<br>
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br>
 
You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[SOX]] audit pass, <br>
My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] (where I’m [[Best in class|best in the class]])<br>
My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br>
They said the [[conference call|call]] would take minutes:
It lasted all day.<br>
 
[[Please be advised]]  that they’ve [[Outsourcing|outsourced]] the fun,<br>
[[Right-sizing|Right-sized]] the moon — <br>
Disintermediated the sun.<br>
They’ve [[circle the wagons|circled their wagons]] and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br>
For our [[direction of travel]] is a [[Mobius loop]].<br>
 
{{c|Peotry}}
{{ref}}

Latest revision as of 17:59, 28 November 2020

The Jolly Contrarian’s Songbook™
For those spontaneous campfire moments.
From the well-thumbed pages of the Jolly Contrarian’s songbook
Index: Click ᐅ to expand:
Jolly Contrarian’s songbook
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.


With apologies to W. H. Auden[1].

Stop all the key performance indicators, cut off the Skype®
Stall internal audit with a load of old tripe,
Silence the subject matter experts, and with animated deck
Bring out the target operating model,
That stakeholders will wreck.

Let escalations circle, rise and then dip
Scribble on the sky “can you run it by Chip?”
Put service level agreements round the service line’s necks,
Let the chief operating officer wear flannelene kecks.

You are my steerco and opco, my SOX audit pass,
My CBT, my CPD (where I’m best in the class)
My deep dive, disclaimer, my eye-ess-dee-aye;
They said the call would take minutes: It lasted all day.

Please be advised that they’ve outsourced the fun,
Right-sized the moon —
Disintermediated the sun.
They’ve circled their wagons and reached around the group;
For our direction of travel is a Mobius loop.

References

  1. ↑ Funeral Blues
Retrieved from "https://jollycontrarian.com/index.php?title=Middle_management_blues&oldid=49331"