Chicken Licken: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Aviary 1403065550574(2).jpg|thumb|right|[[Chicken Licken]], yesterday]] | [[File:Aviary 1403065550574(2).jpg|thumb|right|[[Chicken Licken]], yesterday]] | ||
Once upon a time, an acorn fell on Chicken Licken’s head. Being [[Mediocre lawyer|legally qualified]] and rightly concerned about the risk that this would be [[Recharacterisation|recharacterised]] as evidence that the sky was falling, Chicken Licken rushed off at once to warn the King<ref>In this alternative universe, the King was predisposed to heed warnings from neurotic [[domestic animals]].</ref>. On {{sex|her}} journey, Chicken Licken met other [[Mediocre lawyer|dumb animals]] whom she persuaded [[title transfer collateral arrangement]]s might be [[recharacterisation|recharacterised]] as [[secured loan]]s, [[credit derivative]]s as [[insurance contract]]s, and [[synthetic PB]] as [[cash equity]], and that a client’s insolvency administrator might [[cherry-pick]] their [[out-of-the-money]] derivative positions and before long the legal department numbered 400 and had an annual | Once upon a time, an acorn fell on Chicken Licken’s head. Being [[Mediocre lawyer|legally qualified]] and rightly concerned about the risk that this would be [[Recharacterisation|recharacterised]] as evidence that the sky was falling, Chicken Licken rushed off at once to warn the King<ref>In this alternative universe, the King was predisposed to heed warnings from neurotic [[domestic animals]].</ref>. On {{sex|her}} journey, Chicken Licken met other [[Mediocre lawyer|dumb animals]] whom she persuaded [[title transfer collateral arrangement]]s might be [[recharacterisation|recharacterised]] as [[secured loan]]s, [[credit derivative]]s as [[insurance contract]]s, and [[synthetic PB]] as [[cash equity]], and that a client’s [[insolvency administrator]] might [[cherry-pick]] their [[out-of-the-money]] [[derivative]] positions and before long the [[legal]] department numbered 400 and had an annual spend of £800m. | ||
But they all ran into a fox who duped them all to rush into its lair, where it ate them all up. | But they all ran into a fox who duped them all to rush into its lair, where it ate them all up. | ||
The nervy animals never made it to the King, who remained blissfully unaware of the impending collapse of the sky. In the mean time he | The nervy animals never made it to the [[King Cnut|King]], who remained blissfully unaware of the impending collapse of the sky. In the mean time, he was making a small fortune trading [[delta-one]] equity derivatives until one day [[King Cnut|the tide came disobediently in and drowned him]].<ref>Moral of the story: [[Brexit means Brexit]].</ref> | ||
===The standard issue drafting joke, [[chicken-licken]] edition=== | |||
“Did you | “Did you know that, for a disguise, [[elephant]]s paint their toenails red, and hide in cherry trees<ref>For those who fear the cherry-picker and find this reference all-too-raw, one can substitute this with “paint the soles of their feet yellow and hide upside-down in custard”.</ref>?” <br> | ||
“Why, that’s preposterous!” | “Why, that’s preposterous!” <br> | ||
“Aha! but have you ever ''seen'' an [[elephant]] hiding in a cherry tree?”<br> | “Aha! but have you ever ''seen'' an [[elephant]] hiding in a cherry tree?”<br> | ||
“No, of course not!”<br> | “No, of course not!”<br> | ||
Revision as of 15:20, 1 May 2019
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Once upon a time, an acorn fell on Chicken Licken’s head. Being legally qualified and rightly concerned about the risk that this would be recharacterised as evidence that the sky was falling, Chicken Licken rushed off at once to warn the King[1]. On her journey, Chicken Licken met other dumb animals whom she persuaded title transfer collateral arrangements might be recharacterised as secured loans, credit derivatives as insurance contracts, and synthetic PB as cash equity, and that a client’s insolvency administrator might cherry-pick their out-of-the-money derivative positions and before long the legal department numbered 400 and had an annual spend of £800m.
But they all ran into a fox who duped them all to rush into its lair, where it ate them all up.
The nervy animals never made it to the King, who remained blissfully unaware of the impending collapse of the sky. In the mean time, he was making a small fortune trading delta-one equity derivatives until one day the tide came disobediently in and drowned him.[2]
The standard issue drafting joke, chicken-licken edition
“Did you know that, for a disguise, elephants paint their toenails red, and hide in cherry trees[3]?”
“Why, that’s preposterous!”
“Aha! but have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?”
“No, of course not!”
“SHOWS WHAT A GOOD DISGUISE IT IS.”
}}
On the other hand
Arthur Andersen. If you need any more explanation of this, you really haven’t being paying attention in the last 15 years.
See also
References
- ↑ In this alternative universe, the King was predisposed to heed warnings from neurotic domestic animals.
- ↑ Moral of the story: Brexit means Brexit.
- ↑ For those who fear the cherry-picker and find this reference all-too-raw, one can substitute this with “paint the soles of their feet yellow and hide upside-down in custard”.