Middle management blues: Difference between revisions
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Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br> | Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br> | ||
You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[verbiage]], my pass, <br> | You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[verbiage]], my SOX audit pass, <br> | ||
My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] ( | My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] (where I’m [[Best in class|best in the class]])<br> | ||
My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br> | My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br> | ||
They said | They said the [[conference call|call]] would take minutes: | ||
It lasted all day.<br> | It lasted all day.<br> | ||
| Line 22: | Line 22: | ||
Disintermediated the sun.<br> | Disintermediated the sun.<br> | ||
They’ve circled their wagons and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br> | They’ve circled their wagons and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br> | ||
For | For our [[direction of travel]] is a [[Mobius loop]].<br> | ||
{{dramatis personae}} | {{dramatis personae}} | ||
Revision as of 12:59, 6 June 2018
With apologies to W. H. Auden[1].
Stop all the key performance indicators, cut off the skype
Prevent internal audit complaining with a load of old tripe,
Silence the subject matter experts and with animated deck
Bring out the target operating model,
Let the stakeholders wreck.
Let escalations circle, rise and then dip
Scribble on the sky “can you run it by Chip?”
Put service level agreements round the service line’s necks,
Let the chief operating officer wear flannelene kecks.
You are my steerco and opco, my verbiage, my SOX audit pass,
My CBT, my CPD (where I’m best in the class)
My deep dive, disclaimer, my eye-ess-dee-aye;
They said the call would take minutes:
It lasted all day.
Please be advised that they’ve outsourced the fun,
Right-sized the moon —
Disintermediated the sun.
They’ve circled their wagons and reached around the group;
For our direction of travel is a Mobius loop.
Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |