Cryptöagle

From The Jolly Contrarian
Revision as of 17:19, 24 November 2022 by Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{a|crypto|{{image|cryptoagle|png|After a hurried rebranding to take advantage of the umlaut}}}}Crypto-Eagle, better known in its new branding as cryptöagle is a sp...")
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The JC’s crypto-dyscomium™
After a hurried rebranding to take advantage of the umlaut
A permissionless, decentralised, on-chain, non-fungible guide to magic thinkingIndex: Click to expand:
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

Crypto-Eagle, better known in its new branding as cryptöagle is a special-purpose acquisition crypto-corporation, or “Crypto-SPAC” founded as a division of the Lexrifyly group the JC’s legaltech division that he made up spun off in 2022.

The “Soaring Legal Eagle Acquisition Crypto Corporation”, as cryptoagle is officially known, will launched by initial token offering. All funds raised (in used, unmarked dollars in brown paper bags please) will be used to mint and then acquire non-fungible tokensJollyCoins — which will be deemed to be an amount equal to an artistic representation of cryptöagle’s shares, which will initially be ordinary shares of a limited liability company.

The JollyCoins will not confer direct legal ownership, of for that matter any other rights, title or interest, in or to the cryptöagle shares. Recognising that this may seem sub-optimal to less credulous potential investors,once the crypto-tokens have been minted, to ensure the primacy of the on-chain investment, the C-SPAC promoters have resolved to ceremonially pre-destroy all the legacy offworld shares as a condition precedent to subscription. This will be achieved by the novel legal technique of constructive corporate liquidation: than incorporating and then removing cryptöagle from the companies register, the C-SPAC promoters propose not to even incorporate the company in the first place, therby ensuring no possible, thus shearing the JollyCoins of any taint, discolouration or other unpleasant residue of the trad-fi, the offworld physical economy or economic reality

JollyCoins will instead have independent aesthetic existence as virtual artworks, embedded for all time and all purposes, in a blockchain where they can represent, final, pure, abstract, platonic form of crypto-value.

Not referencing anything whatsoever, not backed by anything, neither explained, defended, justified or needed by anyone or anything, they are untethered from the physical universe and can float free to drift quickly towards the moon.

C-CEO Cass Mälstrom said:

“By removing the physical shares from existence and only having the NFT, we can ensure that the NFT, due to the smart contract ability of the blockchain, cannot be altered is the only representation of the share that exists in the offworld. By doing this, the value of the shares will then be moved onto the NFT.”

See also