Management consultant

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One of those people with an MBA who profoundly deaf to the assertion that it is easier said than done, largely because a management consultant’s role is to say, while some other poor sap is expected to do.

In ordinary Euclidian space-time, there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as E = MC2, but close to it — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (t) required for a management consultant’s output (o) to be implemented[1], which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (L) of the management consultant’s engagement (e'). Therefore, the management consultant will be long gone and onto the next job well before it becomes clear that the implemented changes are a disaster, and you won’t see him for dust.


Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |

References

  1. Careful: a management consultant’s output is never in called a “recommendation”: The art of management consultancy is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely without doing that: the key is to elicit ideas from your client as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door.