Management consultant

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One of those people with an MBA who profoundly deaf to the assertion that it is easier said than done, largely because a management consultant’s role is to say, while some other poor sap is expected to do.

In ordinary Euclidian space-time, there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as E = MC2, but close to it — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (t) required for a management consultant’s output () to be implemented[1], which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (L) of the management consultant’s engagement (e').

T∞ >Le'

Therefore, the management consultant will be long gone and onto the next job well before it becomes clear that the implemented changes are a disaster, and you won’t see him for dust.


Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |

References

  1. Careful: a management consultant’s output is never in called a “recommendation”: The art of management consultancy is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely without doing that: the key is to elicit ideas from your client as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door.